Why do you want to give up your comfortable American lifestyle to minister to the poor and hurting overseas? Why did you give up a chance to go to college and a have a good career and instead only own what can be put into two suitcases? Why go to places where you can get sick or contract an incurable disease or be kidnapped or killed? Why do you do it?

Every time I am asked these questions I think back to my first mission trip. I was twenty-years-old when my father and younger sister Beverly visited Colombia for the first time in 2009. Our family was in a dark place and I was dead inside. My father was a pastor and we had started two churches in our living room so to the outside world we looked like the prefect family. We worshipped God every Sunday and served our church members throughout the week but when everyone left it was like a cloud of past pain and hatred of those who hurt us settled into our house. I will never forget the fact that we could no longer talk or have fun as a family because we were haunted by our pain. So I wanted out anyway I could find. I needed something to live for.

So when they came back from that mission trip full of passion and a renewed love for God, I knew I had to go and see what they had found. For three months I asked my dad when I could go with him to Colombia and the day he called me into his office to let me know we were going, I remember running and jumping into his arms because I knew I HAD to go… I couldn’t stay who I was…

God always answers our heart’s desires! Most of the time we don’t even know what we are looking for or what we need but the most amazing thing is God gives us exactly what we need even when we don’t know what to ask for.

I knew I needed something but I didn’t know what was missing. But when I walked into the orphanage that my dad had visited three months earlier, I found it. I didn’t know I was missing the heart of God… but I was… I had grown up in the church and worked in the ministry most of my life but I had somehow missed the heart of God and it left a gaping hole in my heart. I could never understand why I wasn’t passionate for God or why Christianity seemed like a chore to me. But when I looked into the eyes of those love-starved children, looking for someone, anyone to show them the love of their Daddy God, I finally understood that I had missed a relationship with Jesus. I needed to know Christ and I didn’t. I had head knowledge but I didn’t know Jesus because I hadn’t experienced His presence and I didn’t know His heart or what He was passionate about.

My fist trip changed my life because it set me on a mission to know the heart of God and through knowing Christ I was finally healed from my past. He loved away all of my pain and that’s why now, nothing this world could offer would tempt me to not give God my all, because He gave me His all. Why do what I do? Because I can’t not. I love Jesus too much to not give all I have! His love makes it worth it! I follow the heart of God no matter where it takes me. Because as my dad says, “I have a holy addiction to His love!” And a big part of God’s heart is for the poor and fatherless! Psalms 68:5, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation.”

Love, Rebekah Bullen

At Large Missionary

Mission Critical International

Photos of Rebekah’s Ministry

Like many missionaries, Rebekah has no source of income other than love gifts from back home.

If you would like to help Rebekah you can mail a check to:

Mission Critical International

11743 Northpointe Blvd #1025

Tomball, TX 77377

or give online below.

100% of your gift will go to support Rebekah’s missionary work around the world.

“At least Auntie Rebekah is coming back and we will see her again” said Patricia with a tear in her eye. I was sitting on the porch the night before my flight back to the States with my arms wrapped around Patricia trying not to cry as all the children and our house mothers begged me not to go.

I hate good byes of any kind but saying good bye to these kids here at Project Samuel is especially hard because they see so many people come into their lives only to leave and never return and so they have a hard time believing you will be different. I knew with all my heart I had to take some time off because of my health but the longer I am away from these kids the more that God confirms my calling and that these children need me to show them His love.

“Auntie Rebekah read to me please, Auntie Rebekah help me with my home work, Auntie Rebekah play with me”. This is what I miss so much when I must leave our beloved children at Project Samuel. Every second I am away from them I pray God keeps them until I can hold them in my arms again.

Feeling like I do makes Luke 11:13 so hard to believe and yet so beautiful. “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give good gifts to you who ask.” If I love these children so much and I am willing to give so much to them, how much more does God love me and these children and what will He not do for us?

Pray for me as I start raising support for next year as well as my plane ticket back. I know God will provide for all my needs and I will soon have my arms around our sweet children!

Love,

Rebekah Bullen

Photos of Rebekah’s work in Zambia

Like many missionaries, Rebekah has no source of income other than love gifts from back home.

If you would like to help Rebekah you can mail a check to:

Mission Critical International

11743 Northpointe Blvd #1025

Tomball, TX 77377

or give online below.

100% of your gift will go to Rebekah in Zambia.

The last two weeks God richly blessed me by allowing my mom, Lisa Bullen, to come on a mission trip to see the work I am doing here and to minister with me here at Project Samuel in Zambia, Africa. I loved introducing her to all of our children and showing her how I live my every day life. We painted the inside and outside of one of our children’s houses and we just enjoyed being able to talk about our lives.

One of the highlights of her time here was our weekly children’s out-reach. My mom had a great time teaching the children the story of redemption through a song and through color books. After the bible study we all had fun painting the children’s faces and I let Susan paint my face as well, she loved it!

Another highlight was our ladies bible study. My mom taught a wonderful study on Christian leadership and the ladies really enjoyed meeting my mom, they said we really look alike! I am really thankful she was able to come because now she has a better understanding of my passion for our ministry and my love for our children and the ladies we minister too. God is so good!

Love,

Rebekah Bullen

Photos of Rebekah’s work in Zambia

Like many missionaries, Rebekah has no source of income other than love gifts from back home.

If you would like to help Rebekah you can mail a check to:

Mission Critical International

11743 Northpointe Blvd #1025

Tomball, TX 77377

or give online below.

100% of your gift will go to Rebekah in Zambia.

Last Saturday was our yearly March for Missions and Brenden and I had a great time participating with the children here at Project Samuel. We must have looked very funny walking down the road with our sixteen children and a few of their friends. As we were walking I remembered that we walked in the March for Missions last year a week after I came to Zambia for the first time and at that time we only had eleven children.

God has been so good to us this last year! He has not only given me a calling I love, He has richly blessed Project Samuel as well!. In the last year God has provided electricity, running water, our first layer chickens and now our first Aquaponics system. He truly is a great and loving Father.

A year ago I would never have thought I would have the privilege of daily caring for and teaching sixteen children about Jesus and now I couldn’t imagine not waking up to the sound of their laughter. I can’t wait to see what He will do this next year!

Love,

Rebekah Bullen

Photos of Rebekah’s work in Zambia

Like many missionaries, Rebekah has no source of income other than love gifts from back home.

If you would like to help Rebekah you can mail a check to:

Mission Critical International

11743 Northpointe Blvd #1025

Tomball, TX 77377

or give online below.

100% of your gift will go to Rebekah in Zambia.

One of the highlights of my week here at Project Samuel is our weekly women’s Bible study that I lead on Tuesday afternoons.

I have developed a close friendship with every one of the ladies of our Bible study group. For the last month we’ve been studying through the Psalms and we’ve enjoyed every minute of our study.

Last week we where in Psalm 123:3

“Be gracious to us, O Lord, be gracious to us, for we are greatly filled with contempt.”

We talked about how no matter what others think of you or say about you, God will always be gracious to you and He is always for us. If God called us, no man can stand in our way. We must always believe what God says about us not what others say about us.

The ladies really opened up to how at times they almost give up because of what their family or friends have said about them and because their families don’t believe in them. I told the ladies, “Only God can give us our worth and if He is on our side we can always accomplish our tasks.”

Please pray our Bible study and pray for victory in the lives of all these ladies.

Love,

Rebekah Bullen

Photos of Rebekah’s work in Zambia

Like many missionaries, Rebekah has no source of income other than love gifts from back home.

If you would like to help Rebekah you can mail a check to:

Mission Critical International

11743 Northpointe Blvd #1025

Tomball, TX 77377

or give online below.

100% of your gift will go to Rebekah in Zambia.

I am so proud of our children!
 
They’ve grown so much in the last year, both physically and spiritually. Of our older boys Isaac used to be the only one that would participate in our children’s bible study but now Zavier, Webby, and Castro along with Isaac, not only participate in the Bible study, they also memorize our weekly memory verse and are excited about what they are learning every week.

Our bible study is growing a little more every week! I am also so proud of Lizznet and Kennedy because they are doing so well in school they were able to skip sixth grade and are working very hard along with Patricia and Alick who also are in seventh grade this year, to pass their seventh grade test at the end of this school year so they can go into high school next year.

Patricia and Lizznet love singing in our church praise team and Lizznet is now able to lead us in a few songs. All of our children are doing really well in school and are growing in the Lord. I am so grateful every day that God has given me the privilege of being a part of these children’s lives.

Love,

Rebekah Bullen

Photos of Rebekah’s work in Zambia

Like many missionaries, Rebekah has no source of income other than love gifts from back home.

If you would like to help Rebekah you can mail a check to:

Mission Critical International

11743 Northpointe Blvd #1025

Tomball, TX 77377

Give online below.

100% of your gift will go to Rebekah in Zambia.

I have the great privilege of tutoring students from our children’s school in the village of Mashikili. The students are from fifth to seventh grade and are eager to learn English. My goal is to help these students pass their seventh grade test, which is written in English. It is sobering to realize that I stand at a crisis point in these children’s lives.

If the children don’t pass their test they will not be able to go to high school and they will end up dropping out of school to help their family in the fields with no hope of finding a good job. At my first class two weeks ago I had the children take an assessment test and the results were shocking! Out of the thirty children that came only five could write a basic sentence.

The need is so great sometimes I wonder if I can help these precious children but I know God has called me and He will make a way when there seems to be no way. Today as I stood in front of these expectant children hoping I could give them the education they so desperately need, I prayed for God to give me His strength because I know I can’t do this alone.

Love,

Rebekah Bullen

Photos of Rebekah’s work in Zambia

Like many missionaries, Rebekah has no source of income other than love gifts from back home.

If you would like to help Rebekah you can mail a check to:

Mission Critical International

11743 Northpointe Blvd #1025

Tomball, TX 77377

Give online below.

100% of your gift will go to Rebekah in Zambia.

It will always amaze me how quickly a little bit of love and care changes a child.

When our new children arrived at the project this week, they were reserved and sad. But after only a week they are laughing and playing with our other children.

Today as I was walking all of the kids to the church for praise practice, Oliver, our new eight year old, was walking beside me and he held my hand the whole way to the church.

Only the love of Christ can give a child life and I pray that we are giving these children the love they are desperate for.

Love Rebekah Bullen

On Pastor Timothy’s recent visit he brought a children’s Bible for me to read to and with the children.

I have never see anyone as exited about having a Bible as these children were.

With the limited English they know they couldn’t understand the New Testaments we had given them but they still wanted me to read the Bible to them.

So now having a Bible they can understand and with pictures of the stories is the best gift they could have been given. It is also a great blessing for Patricia and Kennedy who are able to read the Bible for themselves. All of the children here are so enthusiastic about learning anything about Jesus and the Bible. They ask me every day to read the Bible for them and to sing a worship song with them. Even though they can’t always understand the words I am singing they still want me to sing about Jesus with them.

I have taught them the song Here I am to Worship and they know Open the Eyes of My Heart, so anytime they are playing or walking home from school I hear them singing to the top of their voices.

There is nothing like hearing children worship God with innocent and pure faith.

I am reminded of Mark 10:14, Jesus said to them, “permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.”

I want nothing more then to encourage and strengthen that child like faith in the children here at Project Samuel.

Love, Rebekah Bullen

I am so blessed to have this opportunity to pour God’s love into the children at Project Samuel every day. I love how every minute of every day is filled up with either reading or playing with these amazing children. The last two weeks all of the children have been on vacation from school, so I have been teaching an English class to all of the children every morning and in the afternoons we are starting an art class with them. I am still in awe at the eagerness to learn every child displays. I could spend all the time in the world teaching them and they would still ask to learn something new.

For our first art class Chris, Amanda and I made a hand craft with all of the children for pastor Timothy. The kids had a blast. Especially Patricia and Lizanet, who after the craft was over played patty cake with each other with the paint still on their hands. Every day after my classes are over I will sit on our front porch and read as many of the new books that Pastor Timothy brought for the children as I can before lunch. I couldn’t have imagined how quickly the children here would capture my heart with their love and need for companionship. Please pray for the new Bible study Amanda and I are leading for the teachers at the children’s school in the village.

Here the children are making a puzzle for the first time in their lives.

I have always known God had a special calling on my life and now I can say with great joy that I know I am living it here at Project Samuel in Zambia, Africa.

I love everything about my life here, especially how peaceful and quiet it is!

I started my first English and Math class with the kids this week. Their eagerness to learn is amazing! I teach the boys and girls who are in third and fourth grade in the morning three times a week. I also have an afternoon class with three of the most beautiful little girls you can imagine, who are in first grade. I could not hope for more attentive or energetic students.

We will also be starting back up a weekly outreach for the kids in the near-by villages. I will be responsible for planning all the games and bible study for the out reach.

All of the children here love to sing, so I will also be teaching them a song every week along with a memory verse. Please pray for our first outreach this Saturday! I can’t wait to tell you the out come.

Love, Rebekah Bullen

What is your ultimate goal in life? What is the one thing you want to happen before you die? What one thing do you strive for the most, your Mission Critical? Is it financial security, or a good reputation? Maybe you hope to have as much fun as you can and enjoy yourself as much as possible before you die. The goals you have and set will alter the course of your life and your idea of success. If your goal is financial security then your life will most involve ways to make and keep money and success to you will be based on how much money is in your bank account. My life’s ultimate goal is to delight my Heavenly Father. “His Lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord.’ “ Matthew 25:22.
I have no desire to have a fancy house or car. I can live with out my name in lights. But I would be devastated to know I fell short of my life’s mission.
In Matthew 25 Jesus explains the Last Judgment.
“But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons. For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’ “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’ “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’ “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”
Can you imagine hearing Jesus tell you that at one point in your life you could have fed Him but you let Him stay hungry? Or He was naked and you walked away from Him. I can’t live my life in such a way that it will be possible for Jesus to tell me He was in need and I didn’t do everything in my power to help Him.
Jesus is calling me to help hurting children in Zambia, Africa. He is calling you to help someone somewhere. Will you answer His call with me? Will you fight the good fight of this life in such a way that you will be able to say with Paul. “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.” 2 Timothy 4:7
Rebekah Bullen

What fills my life with joy? What causes me to be the happiest? Where or in whom do I find the most pleasure? In my life I have found that these questions can either haunt me or they can set me free. Who or what you receive your joy and happiness from controls the joy and happiness in your life. For example, if I receive most of my joy from my job and then lose my job I have consequently lost my joy as well. When I find myself depressed or consistently unhappy I know I have placed my hope for happiness in the wrong person or thing.

The only place I have found that can give any real hope for continual joy and happiness is the person of Jesus. “In His presence is fullness of Joy and at His right hand are pleasures ever more” Psalms 16:11. I can truly say with Paul “I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with Him” Philippians 3:7-8. All this life can offer me cannot be compared with the joy and pleasure of being in my Beloved Jesus’ presence. I love this quote form Sam Storms “You weren’t created for boredom or burnout or bondage to sexual lust or greed or ambition but for the incomparable pleasure and matchless joy that knowing Jesus alone can bring. Only then, in Him, will you encounter the life-changing, thirst-quenching, soul-satisfying delight that God, for His glory, created you to experience.”

The only way I am able to overcome sin is when I realize that sin is not giving me pleasure or happiness but in reality it is robbing me of the superior joy and pleasure of communion with my beautiful Jesus. Satan’s best trick is to make me and you think we are missing out on some fun or pleasure. That following Jesus it not worth missing out on what life has to offer. But I can say with Solomon “Everything is wearisome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content” Ecclesiastes 1:8. The only source of real lasting joy is in Christ Jesus my Lord. “To be in Christ is the source of the Christian’s life; to be like Christ is the sum of His excellence; to be with Christ is the fullness of His joy.” – Charles Hodge

My goal is to know my Savior and the joy of His fellowship to the extent that no matter what my circumstances I will be only content in Him. “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard you heart and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:4-7.

Rebekah Bullen

In my last blog I was meditating on the image of Christ as my bridegroom. “My lover is mine, and I am His” Song of Solomon 2:16.

Another of my beloved images of Jesus is that He is my Father. Romans 8:15, “So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as His own children. Now we call Him, “Abba, Father.”

For me to understand what it means to have a father –daughter relationship with my sweet Jesus, I look at my own relationship with my earthly father. I have a beautiful relationship with my earthly father, full of love and trust. I know I can come to him if I have a problem or need advice.  I love laying my head on his chest and crying to my heart’s content when life has not gone my way. One of my greatest desires is for my dad to be proud of me.

Now I know for many of you reading this, you don’t have a great or even good relationship with your earthly father. In fact you have a bad relationship with him or you don’t know whom your dad is. You might say to me, “yeah, it is easy for you to see Jesus as your Father, but what about me?” Well think about who you wanted your father to be. Every one of us has an image, a dream of what you need in a father.

When I started to see and expect from Jesus what I need in my father I found He is so much more than I could ever imagine. I can trust in Him completely, I can come to Him with my deepest and darkest fears with out Him being disappointed in me. I never have to worry about my Heavenly Father being too busy to have time for my problems or cares.

My favorite time with my earthly father is when we are sitting on the couch and I am able to lay my head on His chest. During my prayer and worship times in order to cultivate my Father/Daughter relationship with my heavenly Father, I have started picturing myself sitting by Jesus in heaven, sometimes just sitting enjoying His presence and sometimes pouring my heart out to Him. When my heart is broken I sit on His lap and bury my face in His chest and give Him all my pain. When I need forgiveness I sit at His feet and beg for Him to forgive me. When I am thankful I see myself running around His throne, praising His name.

Last night at church, during our worship service, as I was lifting my hands in worship, an image came to me that portrays this so beautifully. I have always enjoyed lifting my hands in worship but never quite understood why I enjoyed it. Yesterday I spent all day with my nine-month-old nephew who is the happiest when He is being held. If I lay him on the floor and sit on the couch, he will crawl over to the couch and work his way up to a standing position and lift his hands to me, so I will pick him up. As I was standing in the service with my hands lifted, I could see myself just like that, wanting nothing more than to be picked up by my Daddy. Is that not what worship is all about? To sit on our heavenly Father’s lap and be happy just to be with Him.

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I have been meditating on the Revelation 19:7, Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. In many places in the Bible we as the Church are called the Bride of Christ. That means every one of us who believe in Christ and are part of His church is His bride. Now when I look brides on their wedding day I can see their love for their bridegrooms just radiating off of them. I want that kind of love for my Bridegroom! A vibrant and passionate love. A kind of love that when I not in His presents my heart burns for the next time I can spend with Him. The cry of my heart is, Psalm 27:8, “My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.” I want to have an intimate enough relationship with my Love to say, Psalm 42:1, “As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God.” So times when I am worshiping at church I get such a longing for my Love I say in my heart “please Beloved just let me come up to you, I can wait any longer for You.” I know He has so much for me to do on this earth that I can go yet but my heart can wait for the day I finally see my Love face to face. I can truly say with David Psalm 16:11, “You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” I will stay with my Love for only in Him do I find true joy. My goal is to every day fall harder and more passionately in love with my Savior and Bridegroom.

I have been home a week and a half from the Dream Center in Los Angeles where I interned for a year and I can still see the faces of my friends and the neighborhood children in Watts that I grew to love as my own. It was very hard to say goodbye but I knew that God has clearly called me to come back to Houston and work with my family at Mission Critical International. I have known since I was six years old that I was called to be a missionary to the nations. It has always been my desire to minister in South America and Africa.

Amazingly God has given the opportunity over the last three years to work in Colombia and next spring I will be serving in Zambia, Africa as well. As hard as it was to leave the relationships of the last year in Los Angeles, I know that God has many crazy things for me to do this next year and I can’t wait to see what He does. I feel like my story has just begun.

My last Adopt-A-Block meeting in Watts as we were praying out one of my little children I was serving there asked if he could pray. As he was praying he thanked God for his friendship with me and thanked God that I was able to bring him to church every Thursday and Sunday and because of that prayer I realized what an incredible influence God had allowed me to have in the lives of these kids over the last year and I only hope that I will be able to expand my influence with the children of Colombia and Zambia this year.

It is obvious that God has placed in my heart a deep and unstoppable love for the overlooked, vulnerable, and abandoned children of the world. I intend to spend the rest of my life pursuing every opportunity to bring hope and God’s love to as many children as I possibly can. Pray for me as I begin fundraising for Zambia and as I jump into the work with my dad here at Mission Critical. God is good!!!

Love Rebekah

“Therefore let us also, seeing we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising its shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

Very time I have wanted to give up these last few weeks, God has given me this verses. I have struggled almost everyday with wanting to give up and just go through the motion. I don’t know if it is because I am tried or if Satan is trying to get me down. But every time I am at the point of giving up Jesus reminds me of all the people pulling for me. I know I can’t give up when I look to that great cloud of witnesses. Every thing in me wants to finish strong here at theDreamCenter. I image I am running a race here at theDreamCenterand my finish line is the airport. God is teaching me every day to run with patience and not get so distracted with my next season around the corner that I lose focuses on the souls right here in front of me. I want to run my race full of joy and love every day I have left. God has opened so many doors for me when I go home. I can’t believe how good He is to me. I can’t wait to see what the next few months will hold.

 I find the hardest part of ministry is keeping the passion you started with. I think the reason the passion in our heart fades is because we ether get worn-out or we get offended at someone or something, so the passion dies out. I have found this in my own life to many times. At the beginning of my time here at the Dream Center every thing I was asked to do was a privilege and so much fun. But as time passed, I stared finding excuses as to why I couldn’t help out any more. With every thing in me I want to keep that passion. I want to wake up every day with joy in my heart to serve. So I started praying for Jesus to renew that passion in me. I also started looking into why I think passion fades. Passion is defined as, intense or overpowering emotion such as love, joy, hatred, or anger. So why would my overpowering emotion of love or joy fade? I started thinking back on why I came to the Dream Center in the first place and what started that passion in my heart. I came to the Dream Center because after I read Pastor Matthew book, I wanted to find a piece of the God he found. I wanted to know Jesus the way he did. You can’t have a heart for people the way Pastor Matthew does with out being closer to Jesus’ heart then your average Christian. I wanted to know Jesus more, I wanted to see His power in a way I never had. My first months here I came to know Jesus more then I ever thought possible. Jesus answered the cry of my heart with a closeness to Him that amazed me. But as time passed I let busyness make me forget the reason I was here. I slowly lost that closeness I had. As a result I lost my passion. Everything became a burden and I lost the love I had for serving. For the last few weeks I have desperately searched for that passion and love I lost. I know I can’t serve like I want and need to with out Jesus’ strength and love in me. I can’t go a day with out Him. I need Him as the air I breathe. The easiest way for my to grow closer to Jesus is through worship. I crave worship. As a way to not make the same mistake, I have set aside time every day to pray and worship. I need it so much. Please pray for my to stay strong in the last to months I have at the Dream Center

Our movement October class Graduated last Sunday. I was so happy for all of my friends and proud of all they accomplished. But I was very sad to see them go home. I think my kid at Nickerson Gardens will miss them the most. As the October Class was saying good bye the kids I realized that in two months it will be me saying good bye. It is very bitter sweet thought leaving. I am ready for what God has for me next but I will miss my kid so much I think it might brake my heart to have to leave them. I love my kids so much, even when they are a handful on the bus or will not be quite during church. I pray that my little time with them will be a turning point in their lives for God.

Last Friday we had a movie night on the parking lot of the Dream Center. We had made little cardboard car for the kids to make it feel like they were at a drive in theater. We bussed in all of our Adopt a Block sites. The kids went craze at the thought of being able to watch a movie out side. We had hotdogs, popcorn and candy for all of the kids. My kids had a blast! I pray that I am a example of God’s love every time I with my kids and an the families at my Adopt a Block site. Pray for me to have the strength to finish strong.

Thinking back on the nine months I have spent at the Dream Center I can’t believe how much I have learned and how much closer of a relationship I now have with Jesus. I can’t wait to start a new chapter of life but I am also sad to close this chapter of preparation. I know I will miss the many hours of quiet reflection and searching for the Father’s heart. I know this time at the Dream Center is a gift and I am determined not to waste my last three months. In September when I go home I want to know I used every moment to grow closer and closer to my beloved Jesus and I used every opportunity to lead others to Him. My desire is to get to the point of no return in my relationship with Jesus. To get to the point in which I know that no matter what happens me, I will never go back to my old self or drift away from God because I now know that nothing in this world can compare with an hour in the presence of my Beloved and true happiness only comes from time spent with Jesus. “In your presence there is fullness of joy and at your right hand are pleasures evermore.” Psalm 16:11 Is the cry of my heart. How can you look of joy in earthly thing when you know with your whole heart that there is fullness of joy in His presence? Why would you look to drugs or relationship after relationship when you know that at His right hand are pleasures evermore? The Bible is not a list of rules to please God and keep you from having fun but it is the key to ultimate joy. Jesus is not keeping you from a good time but giving you the satisfaction your heart need so desperately. The worship serves is not just something we do before the pastor preaches but a way to enter the presence of our Lover. In the Bible Jesus is referred to as our Father, Bridegroom, Friend, Savior and Lord. Most of the time we only see Him as our Lord and Savior but as a Father and Best Friend He is so much more personal. Jesus has to be worth giving up everything this world can offer and even worth facing suffering and death or else He is not worth your life. I can say with confidence JESUS IS WORTH IT. I will live the rest of my life showing others that Jesus is worth their life and their all. Jesus is not just fire insurance but a Pearl of great price that is worth everything you have and more. To say the lest this time at the Dream Center has given me a greater passion to live every moment and give everything I have for Jesus because I know with all my heart He is WORTH it.

Well I can’t believe it has been almost three weeks since my last update. It has been a little crazy at my office because Dustin is now working as the director of the Lords gym here on campus and Dave was on vacation for a week. So I had very little down time and on my down time I have been totally absorbed in this book my dad gave me called Reckless Abandon by David Sitton. Wow what a great book! David Sitton tells the story of his life as a missionary to the unreached tribes in Papua New Guinea. The part of the story that touched me the most is how no matter what danger or suffering he faced in the end he was sure of one thing JESUS IS WORTH IT! I want that passion and assurance. To know Jesus is enough for me. To want Jesus more then anything else. Well I have two experiences that I have to tell you about from the last three weeks. The first was on this Wednesday we teamed up with a ministry called Feed The Children to give out forty pounds of food per families to twelve hundred families. I could not believe the amount of food we had! The week before the event my Adopt a Block team and I had given out flier and invited people in all of the neighborhoods around the Dream Center and at many of the schools as well. We canvassed at all of our Adopt a Block sites too. The event was at two Wednesday afternoon and when I went out at nine that morning the line of people already had about two hundred people in it. We had six buses go out to pick up our families at our Adopt a Block sites. I had thirty of my families come from Nickerson Gardens. By Two o’clock we had more then twelve hundred families in line. We more then enough food to give out! The second God story is on Friday I was working with my team to bag up some fruit to give out at Adopt a Block when two ladies came up to me and asked in Spanish if I could give them any food. A lady helping us bag translated for me as one of the ladies told me that they could not make it to the food give away yesterday and hope we had some leftover food because she had no food in the house at all and she has four kids. I went with the ladies to our main office and asked them to call the food bank to ask if they could give them any food. As we waited for the food bank I tried to talk with one of the ladies with the limited Spanish I know. When to food came I was able to give them some toys and dippers for their kids as well. They hugged me and thanked me like hundred time I was almost in tears by the time their left. It is amazing to know that you get to be Jesus to someone.

Wow what a great two weeks! I was so blessed to have my dad visit me all last week. I had so much fun taking him out on all of the different outreach here at the Dream Center. We went out with the food truck on Tuesday to Nickerson Gardens my Adopt A Block site. The Food truck takes out food everyday to different projects and neighborhoods around L.A. I had a great time introducing my dad to all for my friends and families at Nickerson. On Wednesday we went out with Under The Bridge to give out a hot meal to the homeless on Skid Row. We gave out about two hundred hot plates. What amazes me the most is that Under The Bridge go out everyday and gives out that many if not more food. It is easy as you work in your own ministry to miss the impact that Dream Center is making. I am so glad I had this opportunity to see almost all of the ways the Dream Center is making a change in this city. On Thursday afternoon we went out with Project Prevention. Project Prevention was started by Carolina Barnet to help families from losing their kids because they lack basic necessities like food or diapers. Last year Project Prevention help keep two hundred families from losing their kids. It was awesome to hear some of the stories from the mothers that only were able to keep their kids because of the passion and love of the Dream Center. It really inspired me to know that all those mothers we are able to help because one woman followed God’s call on her life. On Friday we went out with my track on are usual retirement home. It cool to see how many of the residents are starting to expect us to come back and see them. I love hanging out with one lady named Dorothy. I usual color her a picture for her book.

On Saturday I had so much fun introducing my dad to all my families at Nickerson Gardens. Jenny daughter was having her birthday party. So we spent most of the day just hanging out and when we had to leave Jenny gave us all a huge plate of food and wanted to give us a plate of cake as well but we told her that the food was more then we could eat. Sunday after church Dad and I had a great time just hanging out and enjoying time with each other. Monday as I was dropping of my dad at the airport I was sad but I am also exited about the future. Tuesday we went out with our Adopt A Block track to pickup trash in the neighborhoods around the Dream Center. Travis one of our track members brought his guitar with him and as we were walking we ran into a homeless man who asked if he could play Travis’ guitar. I was shocked with how well he could play and sing. He told us he use to be in a band but was kicked out.
We bought him a McDonalds burger and invited him to come to the Dream Center sometime. On Wednesday we were able to take a TV to a lady that Diana one of my good friends knew from her old Adopt A Block sites. It was cool to see how even though Diana had not see this lady in for sometime because of the relationship Diana built with her, they were still like old friends. Friday we went to the park with our track. We played on the playset and laid in the grass to tan. For our after school program we had a killer water balloon fight with the kids. It started with just balloon but ended up with everyone getting a bucket of water dumped over their heads.  Saturdays Adopt A Block was awesome I was able to visit all my families and talk with most of my kids. After Adopt A Block I went hiking with some of my friends to Monrovia Falls. The hike was not very long but was one of the most beautiful hikes I have been on. The waterfall was so beautiful! We are planning on going back next Sunday.

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Psalm 91:1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” This verse has been my pray the last two week. Every minute of every day I want to hid in His shelter because there is the only place I find peace and the strength to live every day. I love how the verse starts out stating what God is and then as if the writer could not hold back his praise the last part of the verse is the writer tells what God is to him. It is incredible how much peace and joy comes with knowing what Jesus is to you, not what others say He is but you know in yourself what you found Him to be in your life. Well this week we had a beautiful Purity night for the young ladies at our Adopt a Block sites but for you to get the full picture of what this night meant to the girls and the leaders I need to explain the whole story. Kaycie is our site leader for Ramona Gardens and she has built a remarkable relationship with the girls at her site. They literally spend almost as much time at the Dream Center as they do at home. Kaycie has a heart for girls to understand their worth and what real love looks like. As a way for the girls to understand that real love only comes through the love of Jesus, Kaycie started planning purity night. The girls went through a six week class in preparation for the purity night. For the last class we went to the beach with all our girls. We had so much fun playing volleyball and jumping waves in the ocean. When the sun went down we roasted hotdogs over a fire. Saturday after Adopt a Block we brought the girls back to the Dream Center and dressed them up. They had already picked out a dress they wanted to wear, so we did our nails and hair. After we were all dressed up we went and got our pictures taken. Then the girls were escorted to dinner in the chapel. During dinner we had a drama and one of the young men from the teen discipleship program rapped for the girls. After dinner we had a worship time and then Kaycie gave her testimony along with four other people the girls know well. Pastor Carolina gave a message about relationships and then we gave all the girls a bible and their purity rings. On the way home one of my girls told me that was one of the best night she has ever had and it was like being on a date with Jesus. I am so thankful God given me this time with my girls.

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This week I thought it would be cool to give a lay out of what my week usually looks like. So I will go day by day and tell you what my schedule looks like week to week.
Sunday, I ride the bus to pick up my kid from Nickerson to take them to church. I am responsible for the kids until they get back on the bus to go home, so if there is a problem at kids church I am called in to get my kids. I also make sure everyone gets back on the bus after church is over. We don’t ride back on the bus with the kids but we are trying to change that right now because the kids fight a lot on the way home. Sunday afternoon I have a life group at the church I go hiking with. We have so much fun and I get some great picture as well.
Monday, Every other week I count the offering at the church with my about a block team. Monday is our day off so when it is not our week to count the offering we have the whole day off. I spend most of the day checking up on sleep and reading.  Monday night I go to a Bible Study with a friend. I really enjoy having time to get away and just focus on worshiping my Savoir.
Tuesday, I work in the office with the church treasurer Dan Scot. I mostly work on filing paper work and just odd jobs he gives me to do. At three we have a after school program for the kids in the youth discipleship program and the kid that go to the dream center academy. We have a dream class, guitar class, arts class and a volleyball class. I work with the volleyball class right now but I jump for class to class. The churches youth group meets on Tuesday night in one of the chapels here at the Dream Center. I usually go to the youth group because I love the worship and because my girls come sometimes.
Wednesday, I work in the Adopt a Block office in the morning mostly printing out the files we will need for the next week and printing out the bible study we do for the kids on Saturday. In the afternoon we have our Movement track to help us, so we do different things like deliver furniture to a needy family,  we will pick up trash from around the neighborhood, or we will canvas for different events the Dream Center is having. We have the after school program again as well. Wednesday night I go to a inter prayer group. I love have a full hour to just pray and knowing I will not be interrupted. I think this is my favorite time of the week.
Thursday, I spend all day in the office working on finishing putting the packets for our different Adopt a Block sites together. I also check the messages on our answering machine and I return the calls that I can for Jonathan. At four I jump on the bus again to go and get my kids for our Thursday night church service. Because of the traffic the bus leaves the Dream Center at four and we don’t get to the church until right before seven.  It is hard to keep the kids calm when they are in the bus that long.
Friday, in the morning we go over to Gik our ministry that works with all the donations that are given to the Dream Center and we bag up all the hygiene items for Adopt a Block on Saturday. Then we put all the bag in our shed, so that on Saturday morning I can give all the site leaders their bag of hygiene items to give out. Friday afternoon we go with our track to visit a retirement home. It is so much fun coloring and playing games with the residents. We spend about an hour at the retirement home and then we come back to the Dream Center for our after school program. Friday night we go out to Skid Row with snacks to give out. Our goal is to use the snacks as a way to start a conversation with people. We have anywhere from fifteen to a hundred people go out with us every week.
Saturday, Is our big Adopt a Block day. I start with getting the food ready to go out and then we have an hour of prayer before our rally starts. The rally is for tell every one what AAB is and what we do. After the rally we all go and get all of our food and bags of hygiene items. We then jump on the bus and go to our sites.  We give out all of the food and hygiene items to all the families that line up every week and then we walk around asking if anyone would like prayer or if we can serve in any way. After Adopt a Block I have the rest of the day to relax and read.
So that is my whole week 🙂

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I can’t believe that it has almost been six months since I can to the Dream Center. It feels like yesterday that I was saying good bye to my dad and getting on a airplane. I have learned so much and I know God has so much more to teach me in my next six months. I know Jesus has a great plan for my life and I can’t wait to use all I have learned in the next place He sends me. Last Friday night after we went out to Skid Row I was able to go out on our prostitute outreach. As we were talking with some street racers about the Lord, a man came up and asked us for some cash. He explained how him and his wife had just come over the boarder and were on there way to San Francisco but they had ran out of gas. On the way to the gas station the man told me that they had not eaten anything for three days. We were able to give them twenty dollars worth of gas and some tacos. I know that man will never forget us.
 Last Monday we want on a one night camping retreat for all the site leaders for our Adopt A Block sites in Joshua Tree park. We had a great time doing some team building exercises, hiking and just sitting around the camp fire sharing stores and eating some good food. Joshua Tree is so beautiful! The mountains look like some one piled up a lot of boulders on top of each other. This Friday we were able to go with our track to our retirement home. I love every time we are able to go and just spend some time with the residents there. There are some ladies that are starting to  remember me, I love to see them start smiling when they see me coming. God is so good to me. I can’t wait to see what He is going to do this week.

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Psalm 16:11 Thou wilt make know to me the path of life; In Thy presence is fullness of joy; In Thy right hand there are pleasures forever. This one versus explains the cry of my heart to really know that in Jesus presence is fullness of joy. All this week God has been showing me how I can enjoy my work more. After you been at the Dream Center for sometime the excitement wears off, but I don’t want that to be true of me I want to have so much joy that everyone around me is effected be my joy.

This week was my big barbeque at Nickerson Gardens. So all week I spent getting every thing organized and making sure that the cook had everything she needed. Saturday was definitely the highlight of my time as site leader of Nickerson. God really blessed us. The out come of the barbeque was much better then I could very have dreamed. We prepared for hundred people and we had at lest a hundred. It was like a mad rush to the food line. I had planned on have Jonathan speak, but it think we blessed everyone a lot by just hangout with then and having a great meal. We usually get back to the dream center a two but on Saturday me and Jonathan didn’t leave Nickerson until almost three. I was very exhausted by the end of the day. It really is a gift being able to serve. Nothing give me as much pleasure as being Jesus hands and feet for a day. Sunday I went hiking again with my friends in the Glendale mountains. My room mate Cat was able to come hiking with us too. We had a great time! I can never explain the feeling of being in awe of God at the top of a mountain looking up in to the sky.  My dad is going to visit me in forty one day! I can’t wait.

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Wow what a amazing two weeks! The Lord has really blessed me in the last two week. For Valentines day we had a eighties dance for all the teens at our Adopt a Block sites. It was a blast! We had disco lights and we all dressed up in eighties cloths. I picked up my girls at my site and we all dance and dance and dance. They had so much fun!  Every year all of us at the Dream Center are bussed to Phoenix to attend a pastors conference at Tommy Barnett’s church. Last Monday at three in the morning we all jumped on the busses for the eight hour trip to Phoenix. We had our first session Monday afternoon were we all participated in our yearly parade for ministers. Tuesday all day we went from one class to the next. I really enjoyed the different speakers but my favorite part was the worship before every talk. Wednesday Pastor Matthew gave a talk and at the end we had an offering for the new home we are going to open for the kids coming out of foster care that are being left on the streets. Wednesday afternoon the Movement represented what they stand for by put on a drama skit. The skit was about one of the girls in the Movement whose brother had die in a car accident and how through what she learned coming to the Dream Center she was able to overcome her depression through worshiping Jesus. It was beautiful! Wednesday night for the closing of the conference we had two hours for just worship. I have never felt the presence of Jesus as I did that night. Standing there with about a thousand people all of us with our hands raised singing Holy Holy Holy is the Lord almighty, there is nothing like it. After the worship time was over Pastor Tommy prayed everyone at the conference that God would expanded their ministers. Then he lead all of us to a pray pavilion they have at the back of the church and everyone who wanted to could pray there could but those who wanted could also climb up the prayer mountain at the back of the pavilion. It was so awesome I didn’t want to leave but we had to get on the bus. We left about nine that night and we got back to the Dream Center about three Thursday morning. I can’t wait to see how God uses what I have learned at the conference but also by just working at the Dream Center. I know my next five years are going to be amazing.