How I got here

Where to begin, it is dificult for me to decide. It all started for me about three years ago, well I will go even further back than that, it really started for me way back when I was a little girl. I grew up the youngest of five kids, the baby of the family, and as awesome as being spoiled and babied was, I always secretly longed for a younger sister, I even used to pretend to teach her how to ride a bike or to make a bed. I never shared this desire with my parents but it stuck with me until about six years ago, when a friend of the family adopted a beautiful little girl from I think it was China, this really started me thinking, and eventually praying, one night as I laid in my bed, I said a silent prayer…… God please give me a baby sister, and if she can not come to me, please send me to her some day, here am I Lord send me that was my prayer every night for the next two weeks, little did I know that three short years later my prayer would be answered, I met my sister Mercy the first time when I was about 15, she came to visit me at my house, I would never at the time had guessed that God intended this to be the answer to my prayer, but she was, over time she ended up part of our family.

Then in June 2009, my Dad and my sister told us that they were going on a mission trip to Bogota Colombia, I was not very interested, to me that missionary stuff is good for some people but not for me, I was good right where I was. It was even worse when my Dad and my sister came back broken, and totally sold out for God and the wonderful children of Colombia, especially two little angels Heidy and Ginary, Story after story, tear after tear, photo after photo they retold the story of their ´´heavenly heart break´´ as my sister in law Jana puts it. I have to admit I was jealous, the obvious love and adoration my Dad had for these kids tugged at my selfish side, and because of this I refused in my heart to care or to participate in the excitment my family shared over this door God had opened for us, But as always God had a different plan for me, and I eventually found myself on an airplane to Colombia with my dad and my two sisters, my plan was to just enjoy myself and have a vacation and not get ´´heart broken´´ over a bunch of kids, well I for the entire week I did just that, I enjoyed hanging out with the kids, but I refused to get close to anyone, and I definatly did not cry. On the last day, we visited the institution where my sister heidy lived at the time, we went through the normal rutine, playing games, holding precious broken conversations with our little gangs, and just enjoying eachothers company. Finally it came time to say goodbye, and to my surprise, my heart hurt, I had tried to hard not to be touched, not to be pulled into the emotion of it all, but as I hugged my baby sisters goodbye, I felt the knot roll in my throat and had to step away to keep my composure.

Back home in Houston, my family made the desicion to adopt these two beautiful girls, I had to admit I was really excited, I felt as though God had given me again what I wanted, another answer to my prayer, unfortunately prayers are not always answered the way we want them to be, our plans are not God´s plans, and we were unable to adopt the girls, the day I heard the news, I remember running to my favorite place to sit and think, I ran and plopped myself down in the soft grass, I sat in silence for a while and then wispered to myself, why God, why?……. why??? why put us through this? why could we have just never met them? why get my hopes up and then dash them? is this what I asked for? I did not understand why that had to happen, why God would let that happen not just to us but to them, but somehow we made it though.

That next June, my dad and my sister in law Jana where planning to go on another trip to Bogota, I desperatly wanted to go, and somehow felt that I really needed to, that I was supposed to, and as God would have it, the plans with my sister in law fell through and I was able to go with my mom and my dad, I have to say, I was not prepared for what God had for me, I was not ready for this one week in my life to be my turning point. God touched my heart that week in a way that I cannot explain, and cannot replicate, I always look back to that week being the happiest of my life, for the first time in my life, I felt like I had built my house directly under the waterfall of grace, I felt like my heart was one with Jesus, and every child I saw I wanted to hug and give a huge kiss, and that is just what I did. I met a little boy on that trip named Andres, I dont know what it was, but he made me love life, he sat with me as I made bracelets out of string and just talked and talked, I did not understand of course, but I did not care, this little boy wanted to tell me his life and I was more than ready to just sit and listen, when I got on the bus to leave, I could not stop the tears from flowing, my lips were salty from kissing his sweaty cheek, now any other time in my life I would have cringed at the thought, but this time, I felt privileged to be able to kiss this little boy, to love him, he inspired me to write my poem “Kissing the face of Jesus”.

How many times have I longed
To see my Lord, to sing Him songs

To stand before Him, to give Him love?
To live with Him in His home above?

How many times have I cried
He said He was here, I felt He lied

“Lord I want to see you, to touch you”
And then I learned what I never knew

I found Him right were He said
In his tiny home, in his tiny bed

A little child, across the world
He warmed my heart, which once was cold

I found what I sought in the least of these
Now to my heart he holds the keys

Jesus’ true face, without pride or care
A find like this though humble is rare

This is why I write this rhyme
I will never cringe at the dirt or grime

When I kiss the cheek of mi amigas
I am kissing the face of Jesus

When I arrived home at the end of this trip, I grabbed my dad and said, “I do not want to go back to normal life, I can´t, there is an emptiness in my soul that can only be filled when I am serving God´s children and showing them His love I am ready to go back home.” And since then I have been trying to get back every chance I get. My heart is in Bogota Colombia, my family is here, my baby sisters live here, this is my home, I just live in Texas right now, When I told the people I work with I was taking two months to live in Bogota Colombia and spend my days with orphan kids, they all said….. “why?” I wish I could say it is out of some sense of spiritual maturity, but really it is because this is where I am happy, I am more blessed then I can bless. I am out served at every turn. And I feel like I am doing what I was put on this earth for. I have purpose. I am more than a wandering soul with no plan. God had this in motion before I was born and I would not wish it any other way. And this my friends is why I am in Bogota right now.

Love Brooke