Tag Aflame For God

Pray Bold IV

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Pray Desperate, Pray Daring, With Or Without Words Just Keep Praying

 

Psalm 34:6 (NLT) In my desperation I prayed, and the lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles.

 

1 Samuel 1:10, 12-17 (NLT) Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the lord… As she was praying to the lord, Eli watched her. Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking. “Must you come here drunk?” he demanded. “Throw away your wine!” “Oh no, sir!” she replied. “I haven’t been drinking wine or anything stronger. But I am very discouraged, and I was pouring out my heart to the lord. Don’t think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.” “In that case,” Eli said, “go in peace! May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of him.”

 

Romans 8:26-27 (NLT) …the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.

 

I believe the most important thing we can bring to our prayers is desperation. I believe nothing touches the heart of God like our desperation. I have preached a sermon all over the world called Recipe For A Miracle. It is the most favorite sermon the Lord has ever given me. I wish I could preach it to every person on the earth. I contend in this sermon that the recipe for a miracle is three ingredients, 1. Desperation, 2. Daring, 3. Divine Encounter. I illustrate that these three can be found in every miracle in the Bible including the greatest miracle ever, the cross.

 

Every answered prayer is a miracle and I believe these three ingredients are critical to praying BOLD and sometimes words don’t suffice to express desperate prayers. Hannah’s prayer follows this pattern. 1. She begs God out of her desperation. She’s so anguished Eli thinks she’s drunk. 2. Her desperation drives her to make a daring bargain with God. 1 Samuel 1:11 And she made this vow: “O lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the lord, his hair will never be cut.” And what was God’s response to that BOLD bargain? Samuel, Israel’s greatest prophet who anointed Israel’s greatest King, David, the ancestor of Jesus Christ! WOW!! That’s quite an answer!

 

Some prayers are so desperate that words fail. Praise God in those moments the Holy Spirit Himself groans with us. I love the story of the four men carrying the paralyzed man in Mark 4:3-5 & 11 Four men arrived carrying a paralyzed man on a mat. They couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, (DESPERATION) so they dug a hole through the roof above his head.(DARING) Then they lowered the man on his mat, right down in front of Jesus. (DIVINE ENCOUNTER) Seeing their faith, (WORDLESS PRAYER) Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “My child, your sins are forgiven… Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!” MIRACLE!!! These stories are all over the Bible! The woman with the 12-year hemorrhage in Mark 5 has no words nor friends to carry her to Jesus. She’s so DESPERATE, having spent all she had on doctors who couldn’t heal her, she claws her way through the crowd (DARING) and grabs Jesus’s robe (DIVINE ENCOUNTER) and is instantly healed! MIRACLE!!!

 

How about the blind man in Mark 10:47-52 When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” (DESPERATION) “Be quiet!” many of the people yelled at him. But he only shouted louder,(DARING) “Son of David, have mercy on me!” When Jesus heard him, (DIVINE ENCOUNTER) he stopped and said, “Tell him to come here.”
So they called the blind man. “Cheer up,” they said. “Come on, he’s calling you!” Bartimaeus threw aside his coat, jumped up, and came to Jesus. “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked. “My Rabbi,” the blind man said, “I want to see!” And Jesus said to him, “Go, for your faith has healed you.” Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road. MIRACLE!!!

 

Is it possible that we are way too dignified, distracted, doubting, or indifferent for a miracle answer to prayer? God help us! Someone once asked me how to get desperate if we aren’t. I thought about that for awhile and I think first a great need will make us desperate, also fasting helps make me desperate, but also picturing what could be if I will pay the price of travail before God makes me very desperate. How many times those whom Jesus healed must have dreamed and hoped beyond hope of being healthy again.

 

From the time my wife and I met our freshman year of Bible college and married the next summer at 19-years-old for me and 18-years-old for her we had dreamed of having a family of warriors for Christ making a difference in the world. We read literally hundreds of books, listened to literally hundreds and hundreds of cassette tape sermons and Bible studies, we taught and trained and worked in the Lord’s vineyard and prayed for our 6 children and did our best to pass on our faith and passion and vision for shaking the world for Christ. We gave everything we had to Christ’s mission (you can read our story HERE) and yet in 2013 it appeared that this vision was as impossible as walking on water. First, we had lost everything and everyone through church splits, unbelievable Satanic attacks on our family, the financial collapse of 2008, and battles that we took on because we knew we couldn’t look the other way and still name the name of Christ. Second, I had spent a third of the year in bed with terrible Lupus flare ups. Third, many of a our children were bitter, cynical, and wanted nothing to do with church or ministry again. One daughter was a missionary in Africa with another ministry but another daughter was estranged from the family and another daughter was running around with a very bad crowd and becoming a girl we didn’t recognize and another daughter married a man that year that none of us knew was a meth addict and five months after their wedding he went to prison for a long time and she crawled into a bottle to deal with the pain and ended up in jail and one son was away in the Navy and made it clear he was never coming back and for sure he was never working in ministry again. And fourth, the stress and discouragement of it all caused my wife to retreat into a depression that also took her health.

 

From one perspective, it could’ve appeared that Satan had won and that God’s promises had failed us. But another thing was also happening. Something I believe Satan is quite frustrated at today. We were becoming CRAZY DESPERATE. And that desperation was driving us to be CRAZY DARING in our prayers and in our actions. We got mad at the devil. We threw caution to the wind and began to run after God like never before, we got ahold of the hem of His robe and refused to let go. We gave our kids to God and began to put every minute and every dime and all of our energy into pushing out the borders of the kingdom of God into dark places. I would get on a plane every 90 days wether the bills were paid or not and go preach the gospel to desperate people. Lisa and I began to spend more and more time in prayer and we began to pray crazy prayers. I remember stomping around the neighborhood at night wrestling with God like Jacob at Peniel and many times I had no words at all. I would walk for hours just saying, “Oh God!” or “Mighty God!” or “Come on, Lord!” I didn’t know what else to say. I’m grateful the Holy Spirit was saying it or groaning it for me.

 

In the fall of 2013 our oldest son and I had a supernatural trip to Colombia. God met with us in ways I don’t have room to tell you about here but neither of us have ever been the same. Today he and his wife are an integral part of our ministry. In the spring of 2014 our youngest daughter and I had a crazy supernatural trip to Colombia. She had a DIVINE ENCOUNTER that so transformed her life that she came home, quit college and her job, and went to Colombia full time as our missionary. On that trip she also met my dear friend and translator and a deep friendship developed between the two of them. They were married this last August and God is using them in ways my wife and I never dreamed we would live to see! In the fall of 2014 in the midst of putting her life back together our middle daughter went to Colombia with my wife and me on a supernatural trip and recommitted her life to pursue Christ among the nations. She and her family is a huge blessing to our ministry today. Also, while we were on that trip our daughter who was formerly estranged from the family came home and we have had the sweetest relationship ever since. She is now serving in our ministry and also serving in a church in the DFW area. She is nothing short of a miracle and our inspiration for much of what we do around the world. In the winter of 2014 God miraculously called our daughter in Africa home to give herself to our family ministry around the world. She is a mighty warrior princess for Christ and a powerful leader in our family and ministry. My wife and I watched in awe as God answered our desperate prayers in ways we hadn’t even imagined. I was thrilled and grateful beyond words but anytime someone mentioned our son in the Navy and when was he going to come home and join the family ministry I would shake my head and say, “No, that one will never happen.” He was extremely successful and loved what he was doing and he had made it abundantly clear that he loved us but he would never put himself through the pain of working in ministry again. BUT GOD! In the fall of 2015 through a series of Book of Acts like miracles and Damascus Road revelations, God made it clear to this last son that he needed to come home and join the family ministry. Wow! Words cannot express the inexplicable joy that we have experienced this year as we have traveled the world with these amazing children of ours on God’s mission. Many a night this last son and I have sat on our balcony and laughed and talked about the crazy things God is doing for us and through us and he always says, “Dad! Look at the crazy lengths God went to to get me home working in this ministry! I’m so glad I didn’t miss out on this.” This Sunday he will be preaching in a church in the bush of Zambia, Africa… DESPERATION + DARING + DIVINE ENCOUNTER = MIRACLE!

 
[quote] “The Kingdom of Heaven is not for the well meaning; it is for the desperate.” – James Denney[/quote]
 
[quote]“The condition for a miracle is difficulty; the condition for a great miracle is impossibility.” ― Angus Buchan[/quote]
 
[quote]”We pray not out of discipline, but out of desperation.” – Paul E. Miller[/quote]
 

Suggested Further Reading: Breakthrough Prayer, by Jim Cymbala>

 
See previous posts in this series
 
A big thank you to our dear friend and ministry partner, Shannon Arnold, for prompting this series…

Aflame For God 17 – Gasoline On A Bonfire

“Oh that I could do more for Him, oh that I was a flame of pure and holy fire and had a thousand lives to spend in the dear Redeemer’s service.” – George Whitefield

 

Read the beginning of the series HERE

 

I was so busy trying to survive and shepherd my flock and family that it wasn’t until the night before we were supposed to leave for Bogota, Colombia that I sat down and looked it up on a map to see where in the world it was located. I had never been outside of the U.S. except childhood visits to Juarez, Mexico and on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. Beverly, who would turn 18 on the trip had never even flown on a plane before. We had no idea what lay in store only a vague lingering sense of God’s hand in all of it. We landed in Bogota, Colombia the evening of June 19, 2009, went to the hotel, and as we got out of the van my dear friend Allen Pate turned to me and said with tears in his eyes, “You are going to love this Matt. This is like Tres Dias on steroids.” And he was not wrong. In truth it was like pouring gasoline on a bonfire.

 

19347395111_39a6f76a70_oWe were mesmerized by all of the sights and sounds as we drove to the first orphanage the first day. Bevy and I were quite nervous as we walked into Amparo De Ninos orphanage but suddenly 80 smiling little boys surrounded us and took us by the hands to show us their home, a giant, dilapidated monastery on a hill surrounded by stunning views of mountains and farmland. There is no way we could have known that the little 10-year-old boy who first took Beverly’s hand within seconds of our first visit to an orphanage on our first ever mission trip would forever change our lives. He literally never let go of Beverly’s hand the whole two and a half days we were there and it nearly killed her to leave him the last day. She later would say that the supernatural love that she felt in her heart for this little boy made her understand for the first time in her life God’s love for us and she dates her true conversion to Christ from this experience. She was a changed girl from that moment on. An inferno had been ignited in her teenage soul. That little boy’s name is Juan David and today he is our son. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

 

Each day of the trip and each day of the subsequent 20 trips we have made to Colombia… but I’m getting ahead of myself again… I have written an email journal home and eventually blogs detailing each days events and miracles and below are my journal entries from that first trip.

 
18724166923_2f5164f6a8_o[quote]Day 1 June 20, 2009
We had a wonderful day today! We went out in the country to the boys orphanage “Amparo De Ninos” (Protection of the Boys). We spent the day loving on 80 orphan boys between the ages of 10 & 18. Everyone of these boys is eligible for adoption and is just waiting for a family to come and take them home. First, we were given the grand tour of “their house” a beautiful and very old Catholic monastery now an orphanage. They showed us their bakery and insisted that we try some of their pastries which were delicious. They showed us their laundry room and nurses station and kitchen and their rooms. It was so precious to be surrounded by 10 or 15 boys at once trying to hug you, hold your hand, and talk to you in rapid fire spanish. I was glad I knew how to say “hable mas despacio por favor” which means “please speak more slowly” :-). After the tour we sat around in a huge circle and introduced ourselves. Then I gave a message from Eph. 2:1-10 through a translator and told them how all of us are boys who have ran away from God and been lost “But God” rich in mercy and full of great love provided a way back to Him through the death of Christ on the cross and now He calls us to faith in His son so that we may have a Father (God), a Brother (Jesus), and a family (Christians), and never be alone again. Some boys cried and others smiled and nodded and some fell asleep :-). Then we had lunch and then we split the boys up into 4 teams and gave all the boys on each team a T-shirt. One team was red, one was blue, one was white, and one was gray. Two teams played soccer while two teams played kick ball (which was new to them) all with sports equipment that we had brought to give to the orphanage. They had a marvelous time. When it came time for us to go, they begged us to stay and held onto the van until we drove out of the gates, all the while telling them “Hasta Manana!” (See you tomorrow). One little boy clung to Beverly all day and was really sweet. It was hard for her to leave him. My little friend that held my hand all day was so cute. Tomorrow we will go back there with 200 hot dogs, buns, catsup, mustard, mayonnaise, cokes, and candy and have a feast with them and another man from our group will give a devotion and then we will teach them some new games. Thanks for helping us to get here and for all of the prayers, Pastor Matt[/quote]
 
18724079043_652d2ef89d_o[quote]Day 2 June 21, 2009
First thing this morning the team had a 2 hour conference with a man who with his wife founded a ministry to orphans here in Bogota call “Alma De Ninos” (Soul of the Children). They founded this ministry right after college and now have 263 orphans ages 10-18 (all eligible for adoption) in 5 different homes that they house and educate. We were very impressed with their work. Tomorrow we will go back to “Amparo De Ninos” (Protection of the Boys) for 1/2 day and then go to one of these “Alma De Ninos” homes that has 160 girls for the remainder of the day. After our meeting this morning we went back to “Amparo De Ninos” again and spent the whole day with the 80 boys there. The first thing we saw when we pulled through the gates this morning was all of the boys in their shirts we gave them playing soccer with the new equipment. It was wonderful to see their smiling faces again. We had a big hot dog cook out with chips and sodas and cookies. The boys never get “seconds” at meals so when we call out that there was seconds for everyone they stampeded. After lunch we played frisbee, dodgeball, and football. Later in the day we went into the old Catholic chapel and had a devotional from one of our team who is in seminary and works for a ministry in Waco. He told the boys that we love them and want to help them but there is only so much that we can do but that Jesus has already borne all of their pain, suffering, and sin on the cross and through faith in His sacrifice they can be healed. We then gave each boy a New Testament in Spanish. I was able to have some deep spiritual conversations with a couple of the boys and pray with them about their fears and struggles. We had many fun conversations as well and Beverly and I both learned a ton of spanish. Beverly is making a list of all the little boys she wants to bring home, boys with names like Anderes Philip, Juan David, Alexander, Diego, and Ramido. I keep reminding her that we still have two girls orphanages to visit yet this week :-). Once again, thank you for making this possible and for all of the prayers, Pastor Matt[/quote]
 
100_2927[quote]Day 3 June 22, 2009 was a marvelous day of blessings and much emotion. Today was Beverly’s 18th birthday and I’m sure one that she will remember forever. At breakfast the whole team stood around her table and sang happy birthday and then presented her with a pretty tote bag with her name embroidered on the side. After breakfast we went back to “Amparo De Ninos” for the last time this trip. When we arrived there were no boys to be seen. As we walked into the orphanage they were lined up in the hall and as Beverly entered they sang happy birthday in broken english and clapped and wished her “Feliz Cupleano” (happy birthday). It was beautiful. We took a tour of the grounds this time and were able to see their farming and dairy operation which helps with their needs and they also sell the milk to help with their costs. After some more soccer, we met in the chapel for a final devotion and to say our goodbyes. The young people on our team (Beverly (18), Sarah (18), brothers Matthew (20) and John (17), and Eric (24)) got up and gave testimony to what Christ is doing in their lives and why they came and what a blessing it has been and how they love and will miss the boys. Then I was able to share from John 14 about eternity and how short this troubled life is in comparison. I shared with them that though we may be separated in this life, if we believe in Jesus and turn from our sin, our own way, and cry out to Him, resting solely on His mercy and grace for our salvation, then we will be together in eternity with our Lord. I told them about repentance and faith. After the devotion, 25 boys acknowledged their need for Christ and I was able to pray with them. Then 3 of the older boys got up and thanked us in the most precious manner you can imagine. They thanked us for the love of Jesus that they had seen in our faces and in our actions. They said that though the time we were able to spend with them probably seemed short to us it was like a lifetime to them because it is so rare that they get to experience anything like that. They said that few people in the world would come so far to spend their time with a bunch of orphans and they loved us for it and would remember it the rest of their life. Our sweet interpreter broke down several times and had a hard time translating all that they had to say to us. There was no shortage of tears among us all. We left at lunch with many tears and hugs and sweet goodbyes and promises to come back next year. One little boy who had stayed right with Beverly and I all week asked if I could be his “Padrino” (Godfather) and if Beverly could be his “Madrina” (Godmother). That was hard. We are bringing back information on each boy and have promised them that we will work to help connect them with families who wish to adopt. In the afternoon we went to a new orphanage called “Ciudad De La Nina” (City of the Girl) where their are 160 girls between the ages of 7 and 18. This is one of the orphanages of the man that we met with yesterday morning from “Alma De Ninos” (Soul of the Child). They had an assembly and the girls all sang to us and chanted out a welcome. We introduced ourselves and I just happened to mention to them that it was Beverly’s “Cupleano Hoy” (Birthday today) :-). So 160 girls sang happy birthday in spanish, and beat on the tables, and clapped and Beverly blushed intensely and then proceeded to walk over and give me a well deserved punch in the kidney :-). We handed out a stuffed toy to each girl and told them that we would be back tomorrow to have an American cook out and spend the whole day with them. More chanting, clapping, and beating on the tables ensued. Many of the girls came up to thank us and give us each a big “abrazo” (hug). Five beautiful little girls surrounded me and asked if I had any daughters. I told them that I had 4 daughters including Beverly and then they asked me if I would like some more daughters because each of them are waiting for a family to adopt them. That was hard. We left there and went to dinner at the home of the lady who works from this end to help the “Here I Am Orphan Ministry” (our team) to work in these orphanages and acts as the guide on the trips. We had a wonderful Colombian dinner and rich Colombian coffee and then she pulled out a beautifully decorated chocolate cake and we all sang happy birthday to Beverly one more time. As she blew out the candle, Beverly wished out loud that we will be able to help some of these children, perhaps through adoption ourselves, in the future. We sang some worship songs and went back to our hotel asking God for strength and courage to once again be the hands and feet and arms of Jesus to the 160 girls at “Ciudad De La Nina” tomorrow. Once again, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for supporting us in this work and for the many prayers. Many Blessings, Pastor Matt[/quote]
 

That night when we got back to the hotel we tried to Skype with the family back home so they could sing happy birthday to Bevy but all she and I could do was cry and blubber about what we had seen and felt. Our family on the other side of the computer screen couldn’t figure out what was going on with us… but soon they would… but I’m getting ahead of myself again..

 
[quote]Day 4 June 23, 2009 Today was another amazing day. We went back to “Ciudad De La Nina” (City of the Girl) to spend the whole day. This is the orphanage with 160 of the cutest girls ever seen that we visited briefly yesterday. We spent the morning talking with the girls (by now our spanish is getting pretty good) and laughing and teasing while they asked us zillions of questions which we later realized were all directed at whether we would make good adoptive parents or not. They asked us important questions like how many shoes we owned and how much land and how many animals we owned and stuff like that :-). We then had a grand cook out and fed them hot dogs and chips and ice cream with all of the toppings which took hours, literally. They thanked us dozens of times. It was a very happy, happy time. We then moved into the cafeteria and a group of the girls dressed in traditional Colombian dress did several dances for us. It was really beautiful. Next, it was time for the devotion. I shared with them about my family and how that all of my adult life my passion has been to be a good father. I told them how I love my children and how I desire to give good things to them and how I would even die for them. But then I shared with them that the Bible says that if earthly fathers who are sinners give good gifts to their children how much more does the Heavenly Father. I then proceeded to share with them the wonderful news of a Heavenly Father who loves them and who sent His son to die for them and how that by faith they can have this Father for their own and He will never leave them, He will never let them down. We then gave out a pair of brand new tennis shoes to each girl and a New Testament in Spanish. Then it was time for us to go. However, some of the girls got the idea of having each of us sign their Bible for them. So we spent the next 30 minutes with crowds of girls around each of us signing Bibles as fast as we could write our names. It was unspeakably precious. We had to tell them goodbye for this trip and words cannot express the feeling in our hearts as we left those girls, many with tears, promising to do what we can to help them in the days ahead and asking God to watch over them. It was especially hard for me to leave 3 little girls named Jaime, Brenda, and Wendy who had held my hands all day and called me Papa. Tomorrow we go to “Ampara De Ninas” (Protection of the Girls) here in the city which is one of the main reasons for the trip and we will spend the rest of our week there. I can only imagine how hard it will be to leave our new little friends there after we spend the next three days with them but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. I have a new appreciation for my Savior who once said, “suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” Love and Prayers, Pastor Matt[/quote]
 

Little did I know that the next day, June 24, 2009 would change my life forever. This is the day that Beverly and I met my Colombian daughter, Heidy, and I fell ridiculously, insanely, supernaturally, head over heels in love.

 
18720829864_90f5586cbb_o[quote]Day 5 June 24, 2009 Today was another example of God’s hand mightily at work among us. We arrived at “Amparo De Ninas” at about 10:00am. There are 76 girls in this orphanage. They were all ready to go to the big city park “just down the road” so we set out walking to the park. An hour and 5 or 6 miles later we arrived at the park. It was a lovely walk in the 70 degree weather with each of us surrounded by girls holding our hands or walking arm in arm and asking question after question. It was wonderful. The park is a gigantic, beautiful, lush, park with two lakes. If walking “to” the park wasn’t enough we also had to walk all around the park and see all of the sites 🙂 which gave us lots of opportunity to talk about the Lord, America, food, music, and so on. The nuns cooked in huge kettles over an open fire right in the park a wonderful “soup” full of beef ribs, chicken leg quarters, bananas, plantain, potatoes, rice and so on. It was delicious and hearty. We played volleyball, soccer, earth ball, ladder ball and shot marshmallow guns at each other. At about 3:00pm the rain came and we had to head back to the orphanage. By the time we got back the rain had stopped so we dragged chairs out into the courtyard and sat around and visited until time to go. My heart was pierced again and again as were the rest of the team as we got to know these beautiful girls and see their personalities and know that if they don’t get adopted the statistics tell us that most of them will be dead within two years of leaving the orphanage. One little girl in particular, named Heidy, followed Beverly around all day and tried really hard to communicate with her. At one point she began to play piano scales with her fingers on Beverly’s arm and suddenly they realized that they knew a universal language, music. This little girl plays the piano, flute, and drums. I had seen her with Beverly all day but I was monopolized by several other sweet girls and didn’t get to meet her until we were almost ready to leave. Someone said that she could sing and so we coerced her into singing for us. When she started to sing I thought that heaven had opened up and an angel was singing to us. We were stunned. As I write this there are chills going down my spine and tears filling my eyes. I know that God has a plan for this girl and I am so grateful that on this day I was able to love on her and make her laugh several times and let her know that she has friends from Texas. Tomorrow we go back to have a big hot dog cookout with these girls and then Friday we will be with them all day as well. I can’t wait to get back there and see all of my little friends. I don’t know what the future holds but I know, God willing, that we are going to have a wonderful time in the Lord while we can. Love and Prayers, Pastor Matt[/quote]
 
19155730670_3af27bd6a3_k[quote]Day 6 June 25, 2009 Today was a happy day! We rested some and saw some sites this morning and then went back to “Amparo De Ninas” this afternoon. It was such a happy day because we had made friends with these girls yesterday and they know that we aren’t leaving until Saturday so they don’t have to be sad yet and so we were able to just be comfortable with each other and really loosen up and have some fun. When I walked into the courtyard I saw that the girls had taken colored chalk and in huge fancy letters written on the asphalt “Mateo, Te Queremos Mucho” (Matthew, We Love You Very Much). The little girl (Heidy) that I told about who was such a singer and musician had drawn a large picture of a girl with a smaller girl with her head on her shoulder and under the larger girl was the name Beverly and under the smaller girl was her name with hearts all around the picture. It was beautiful. We played basketball, volleyball, and sat around and talked a lot. For dinner we had our big hot dog cook out and then made popcorn and roasted marshmallows over the charcoal. Someone brought out a stereo and then it got crazy. In case you ever wondered if Latin girls can dance, I am here to tell you positively that they can and that they are determined when trying to teach us “Americanos” how to as well. I’ve never had more fun in my life. We laughed and we made them laugh. We danced and took crazy pictures of each other until our camera batteries were gone. We talked and played until the sun was way down and it was time to go. Some of the girls made woven bracelets and Beverly knew how to start them so there was literally a line of girls waiting for Beverly to help them get theirs started. Heidy brought her bracelet when completed and put it on my arm. I tried to give it back and tell her it was for her but she would have none of it. All day yesterday and today I kept trying to get her picture but she wouldn’t let me or anyone else. Apparently she is infamous for hating to have her picture taken. Once when I surprised her with a shot she begged me to delete it and so I did. She did allow a picture of her and Beverly with her drawing though and right before we left she came up and said “Una photo de tu y yo” (One photo of you and me) so I was able to get her picture after all. My friend Allen took the shot and I can’t wait to get it from him. I knew that it was a huge gesture of friendship for her to permit it and I will cherish that picture. It reminded me of summer camp when I was a boy and making new friends and having fun and giving yourself to the moment knowing that the week will end but for the moment this is all there is in the universe. I know God put Beverly and I on this wonderful team of people and appointed us for this trip and I can gratefully say that I have soaked up every minute. I came here to show the love of Jesus to these children but what I didn’t expect was to see His love for me through them. Love and Prayers, Pastor Matt[/quote]
 
Heidy and Me[quote]Day 7 June 26, 2009 Our final day here in Bogota was very sweet and very sad as was expected. We went back to “Amparo De Ninas” today. The girls were all gathered and Beverly, David, Sarah, and I sang “Here I Am To Worship” for them and then I gave our last devotional from Romans 15:13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. I shared with them how the God of hope loves them and has a plan for them. And when they believe the Holy Spirit comes and fills them with hope, joy, and peace. They can search for those things in the world, in things, in human relationships, but they are only to be found in God through His Son Jesus Christ. Several girls prayed with me after acknowledging their need for and total dependance on Jesus Christ for their eternal salvation. After the devotion, the team gave each girl a New Testament in Spanish and a brand new pair of shoes and a stuffed bunny. I should mention here that our team, Here I Am Orphan Ministry, (www.orphanministries.com) bought 361 pairs of shoes this week for girls and boys in every orphanage we visited plus 4 other orphanages that we were not able to visit this time. Then it was lunch time and we enjoyed eating and visiting together. Two girls wrote me sweet notes thanking me for opening my heart to them and for the love that they felt. I have so many little sisters now. Instead of trying to celebrate each girls birthday when it comes around they have two big parties a year, one in June for the January through June birthdays and one at the end of the year for the rest. Today was the big birthday party for the first 1/2 of the year so after lunch our buddies from “Amparo De Ninos” that we visited earlier in the week showed up and the party began. There were cakes and we brought ice cream and toppings and there was a DJ and lots of dancing :-). The kids look forward to this for 6 months and they were extra delighted that we were going to be there to share it with them. It was a happy time. As the day began to come to a close the girls started bringing me their email addresses on scraps of paper and eliciting promises of staying in touch and promises to return and see them when we can. When it actually came time to leave, we gathered in a big circle and held hands and I prayed. I asked God to watch over our friends, to draw them close to Himself, to let them know that we love them and it is because He first loved us, and to hold our hearts in His hand until we see each other again. After the prayer, some of the girls got up and thanked us. Heidy, the little girl that captured Beverly and my heart and with whom we had much fun today, got up and said, “Thank you for coming to show us love. Believe me, your riches in heaven will be great. You have given 365 days worth of love in 3 days. God bless you.” Then it was time to go and girls rushed to kiss us on the cheek and give us hugs. Many were crying as were we. They thanked us over and over again. Finally, before some of the team dragged me into the van and closed the door, I gave Heidy the last of many tearful hugs and we said our sweet goodbyes. I don’t have the words to say what we all felt as we drove away but there was much sobbing and many determined oaths to redouble our efforts to “Vindicate the weak and fatherless and do justice to the afflicted and destitute.” Psalm 82:3 Love and Prayers, Pastor Matt [/quote]
 

As little Heidy and I were giving each other our last tearful goodbyes and hugs and kisses and she was whispering in my ear “I love you, I’ll be praying for you” my friends David and Allen grabbed me by the back of my leather jacket and literally dragged me into the van and slammed the door because we were going to miss our flight. As the door closed and we drove away from Amparo De Ninas, I sat frozen for a moment and then I turned to David and quietly said, “If I have to swim the gulf of Mexico, I’m going to help that little girl.” Then I fell into his arms and sobbed like a baby all the way to the airport.

 

Here is an excerpt from Beverly’s journal from that trip…

 
[quote]“The summer that I graduated high school I read, “Don’t waste your life” by John Piper. When I read that book God put a fervent desire in my heart to give my life wholly and completely over to God to do with as He would. He stirred a passion in me to do something meaningful something that would impact the kingdom of God for His glory. That same summer God brought a young orphan girl into our life named Mercy. She needed a home and a loving forever family. I knew right away that God wanted me to make a ministry of this precious new sister. And so I spent that year pouring into her the love of God. And then one day my dad walks into the office and tells me about an opportunity he was given to go on a mission trip to Bogota, Colombia and I was reminded of what God had stirred in me the summer before. I had no idea what to expect and sometimes wondered what in the world were we getting ourselves into. The first day we visited a boy’s orphanage. It was very awkward and I did not know what to do with myself. And then one sweet shy little boy kept taking my hand every chance he got and started showing me around. He showed me everything but when he took me to one of the rooms where they sleep and showed me his bed and his little backpack that held all the little toys he owned I wanted to cry. That first day he hardly ever left my side soaking in all the love and affection he could. But after that he began to pull away and I realized it was because he knew we were going to leave and wanted to make it as least painful as he could by staying away. It broke my heart. That night I couldn’t stop thinking of all the little things in life I take for granted. Things like a hug or a shelf full of stuffed animals or a pantry full of food or just family. Over the next few days we visited two girls orphanages. I marveled at how selfless and loving these children were and at how even though we had gifts and food and things to give them what they wanted the most was our love. All they wanted was to hold your hand to make you laugh to hug you to see you smile. That baffled me the most. We were there to serve them and give them love and they were so eager to do just that for us. Telling these precious children goodbye on that last day was the hardest thing I have ever done. God stirred a passion in me when I read, “Don’t waste your life” to do something of worth and value for the kingdom of God. And I have to say I am certain I have found that something. And that something is to take God’s love and the gospel to Orphans and God willing bring some home to teach and train in the ways of the Lord.” [/quote]
 

Beverly and I sat quietly on the plane with copious tears flowing down both of our cheeks. Suddenly she reached over and squeezed my hand so hard it hurt. “Dad, promise me that we will never be the same again! Promise me! Promise me that we won’t forget what we saw, what we felt, and we will go home and do something about it!” All I could choke out was, “Beverly, I promise if we have to swim the gulf of Mexico, we are going to help those kids.”

 

Aflame For God 18 – Swimming The Gulf of Mexico

 

Aflame For God 16 – The Condition For A Great Miracle

“Take care of giving up your first zeal; beware of cooling in the least degree. Ye were hot and earnest once; be hot and earnest still, and let the fire which once burnt within you still animate you.” – Charles Spurgeon

 

Read the beginning of the series HERE

 

It quickly became obvious to us that the forces of darkness were not happy about God sending us a new daughter. My sons and I worked building high-rise buildings while we were planting churches and three weeks after Mercy came through our door all three of us were laid off from our jobs on the same day. I was unexpectedly laid off from a six figure income job that day and was consequently out of work for almost a year and financially we have never recovered. But the three of us getting laid off was not to be the height of the spiritual warfare for that day. We came home, gave the bad news to the girls and mom, and decided to go to dinner and forget our fears and worries. On the way home from dinner an old man who was off his medication tried to run my wife off the road in our little, safe, gated community where we lived. She pulled over and the boys and I got out to see what was going on and he accelerated to about 30 miles an hour and just missed me and hit my oldest son Luke sending him smashing head first into the man’s windshield and then he flew over the car and landed on the pavement as the man sped away. Immediately Lisa took off and caught up to the man and blocked his car with hers and brought him to a stop. My heart sank to my feet as I watched all of this just a few feet from me. But God! Even though the man’s bumper, fender, mirror and windshield were dented and shattered Luke jumped up off the ground and we discovered he had no broken bones or internal injuries and only a small scratch on his head. The EMTs who arrived shortly after and saw the damage to the car could not believe that Luke had even survived much less was unharmed. That day we knew we were in a war.

 

Over the next several months our entire family’s lives were wrapped up in ministering to Mercy and the spiritual warfare continued on every front. We couldn’t believe the persecution we began to receive from people, even our own extended family, who didn’t think it was right that we had adopted a black girl. We were stunned. Surely no one who named the name of Christ and knew the Bible could feel that way. Families left our church over it even. Friends whom we counted among our dearest quit speaking to us. And Mercy deep down was very angry. She was all alone in another country, didn’t understand the language, didn’t understand these crazy white people and their rules, and we quickly realized just how far out of our depth we were to help this precious girl. It was very difficult for Mercy and our whole family but continually God showed up in stunning ways to show us that He was the author of this and we were on His mission.

 

Many days I held Mercy in my arms while she wet the front of my shirt weeping out her anger and pain and confusion. Like the Grinch in the animated Christmas special, I felt like my heart was growing ten times its normal size. Many nights my girls sat up with her and worked with her. Day after day Lisa worked trying to help her learn English, get caught up in school (she had missed several years of school due to the Liberian civil war) and adjust to her new culture. All the while we were still writing, speaking, pastoring, and doing odd jobs trying to keep afloat financially. We made more mistakes than we care to remember now but God was expanding our hearts and minds at a blinding pace and we were learning to see, feel, and act like Jesus to the least of these.

 

1936736_246665580234_5074584_nWhen Mercy was dropped on our doorstep we simply took her in. At the time we didn’t even consider what to do legally not to mention with preaching and pastoring and speaking, we simply had no time to even think about it. But after a year my daughter Beverly came to me (she had just graduated high school at 16) and said, “Dad, put me to work in the ministry. Give me something to do.” So I asked her to hire a lawyer, hire a social worker, do the research, and figure out what it would take to adopt Mercy legally. And she did just that. Once in awhile she would show up with some papers for Lisa and I to sign or she would tell us we all needed to go to the doctor on such and such a day to get physicals for the adoption. Finally the date was set for our home study and the lawyer and the social worker called me (I had not yet spoken to them) and said, “Mister Bullen, we were getting worried that we hadn’t heard from you or your wife in all this time and the only person we have dealt with is your 16-year-old daughter. But we looked you up online and read some of your writings and realized that you are training Beverly to be a leader and a world impactor and not just being irresponsible with your adoption and we want you to know we think its awesome.” Whew! I hadn’t even considered how it might appear! Finally the day arrived and we went to court and signed all of the papers and Mercy was now a real Bullen. Oh happy day.

 

Within a year of Mercy’s arrival we had experienced a total financial collapse and were on our way to losing everything. The financial meltdown of 2008 – 2009 was in full swing and we were hanging by a thread. But God was working in us in ways we hadn’t previously known was possible and our faith and our determination were growing leaps and bounds. We began to experience, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace” in a whole new way.

 

About this time a Tres Dias brother, David Richardson, emailed me to say that he was going on a trip to Colombia, South America with Allen Pate (the guy who broke my heart for orphan ministry) and they felt strongly that God wanted me to go with them. I told him that we were weeks away from being on the street and had our hands full with pastoring and Mercy and there was just no way I could go visit orphanages in Colombia with him. Four more times over the next several weeks he reached out to me insisting that “he knew” this was from God and that I was supposed to be on this trip. Time after time I told him no. Three weeks before the trip was supposed to leave I finally found a job back in construction with some dear Christian friends that was going to put us back on top financially. “Yes!” I thought, “God has answered our prayers. Good thing I didn’t take David up on that crazy idea to go visit orphans in Colombia.” I called David on the phone and told him that I had just been hired at this company and there was absolutely no way I could go to Colombia. I’ll never forget his response. “Well, ok brother, but I just know you are supposed to be there. Don’t be mad at me but I’m going to keep praying that you will go.” “Fair enough,” I replied, and that was it. The next morning I walked in to my new job and my friend/new boss’s face was white as a sheet. “Matt, I’m so sorry but the contract we hired you for was canceled this morning and we can’t use you now.” I assured him that it was ok and walked out the door but as I stepped across the threshold leaving that place of business I was reaching for my phone, hands shaking. “Hello, David? This is Matt. I think I’m supposed to be on that trip to Colombia with you. I don’t know where I will get the money but count me in.” I went home and told my family what had happened expecting them to be upset, especially my wife, but quite the opposite was true. They had just been watching a movie called Faith Like Potatoes and they insisted I sit down and watch it. I didn’t feel like it but agreed. The story in that movie touched me to the very deepest catacombs of my soul. To this day I can’t watch it without crying. At one point in the movie (which is a true story) the lead character Angus Buchan says, “The condition for a miracle is difficulty. The condition for a great miracle is impossibility.” That exploded in my heart because I was sitting in an absolutely impossible situation and yet I knew we were on the edge of something crazy amazing and I felt the Holy Spirit’s peace waft over me and then my wife said, “You know, Beverly will turn 18 while you are on the trip to Colombia…” “Oh!” I said, Then I shouldn’t go?” “No,” Lisa said, “What I meant was you should take her with you. What better way to spend her 18th birthday than loving on orphans in Colombia with her dad?” “But we don’t even have the money for me to go”, I replied. “Well if God can send one, He can send two,” she said. And then she finished with, “The condition for a great miracle is impossibility!”

 

Three days later a man in our church called me and said, “Pack your bags Pastor Matt. Some of us men are pitching in to pay your way. You and Beverly are going to Colombia.”

 

And we did…

 

Aflame For God 17 – Gasoline On A Bonfire

 

Aflame For God 15 – An Orphan On Our Doorstep

“Get as close as possible to those who are burning for God, and you will be ignited.” – Duke Taber

 

Read the beginning of the series HERE

 

We were serving God with everything we had or so we thought. Then two events transpired leading to two prayers that would change our lives forever. The first thing that happened was I was listening to the audio version of John Piper’s book, Desiring God, on my way home one day and this paragraph in chapter nine shook me to my very core…

 
[quote]BECOMING WORLD CHRISTIANS – “I would like to believe that many of you who read this chapter are on the brink of setting a new course of commitment to missions: some a new commitment to go to a frontier people, others a new path of education, others a new use of your vocation in a culture less saturated by the church, others a new lifestyle and a new pattern of giving and praying and reading. I want to push you over the brink. I would like to make the cause of missions so attractive that you will no longer be able to resist its magnetism. Not that I believe everyone will become a missionary, or even should become one. But I pray that every reader of this book might become what David Bryant calls a “World Christian”—that you would reorder your life around God’s global cause.” – John Piper[/quote]
 

The moment I heard those words it flashed across my mind that though I had spent two and a half decades passionately pursuing Jesus and a decade and a half training my family to be warriors for Christ, I had totally missed God’s heartbeat for the nations. All of my focus and energy had been on America, my own country. I thought for a moment that my heart would burst. Hot tears flowed from my eyes and I nearly ran off the road. I began right then to cry out to God to send my family to the nations. Before I got home I had decided I needed to leave my church, sell everything, move into a little apartment, and spend the rest of my life pursuing Jesus on His mission among the nations. Now I just had to convince my wife and children. Shortly after this I also heard another quote from John Piper which wrecked me further.

 
[quote]“How then do you serve God? You posture yourself, and you maneuver your life, and you devote energy and effort and time and creativity to positioning yourself under the waterfall of God’s continual blessing, you find out where the waterfall of God’s blessing is falling and you get under it. When it moves, you follow it so that you stay wet. And usually it takes you overseas…” – John Piper[/quote]
 

This new vision of chasing God’s joy like strategizing to stay under a globe trotting waterfall of heavenly quests blew my mind and elicited the first of the two life changing prayers. I began to pray night and day for God to let me and my family in on the adventure by sending us to the nations.

 

The second event was shortly after reading Desiring God I was speaking at a men’s Tres Dias retreat and a dear friend, whom I had met on my original Tres Dias, Allen Pate, was also speaking. During Allen’s message on Christian Action, he told the story of how he and his wife Cindy were called to orphan ministry and had adopted two sons from Kazakhstan and recently two daughters from Colombia. As he spoke my heart began to burn once again like it would burst and hot tears rolled down my face. Soon I was weeping uncontrollably. I recognized this feeling as the moving of the Holy Spirit once again in my heart. I had felt it before with life changing results. I literally felt as if I would die if I couldn’t get involved in orphan ministry. At the same time thoughts were running through my mind such as, “I’m a busy pastor, father of five teenagers, author, conference speaker, and I am fighting an incurable disease.” “What business, Lord, do I have getting involved in orphan ministry?” “I don’t have time.” “I don’t have money.” “Surely this is my imagination and not You Lord.” And then I had an idea. A safe prayer that I thought would get me off the hook. I prayed, “Lord, you know my heart. You know that I am willing but I don’t know where to start. If You will drop an orphan on my doorstep, I will take it in.” I gave Allen a big hug after his message and told him how moved I was and asked him to pray for us as we sought how the Lord would have us be involved in missions and especially orphan ministry. I came home and told my wife, Lisa, about my “safe” prayer. She responded, “Great!” “IF GOD DROPS AN ORPHAN ON OUR DOORSTEP… we will take it in.”

 

Be careful what you pray for… God takes you seriously.

 

n811950234_7664418_3856614Two weeks later we received an email asking us to help a 13-year-old orphan girl from Liberia, Africa named Mercy (God has a sense of humor). She weighed 48 lbs., was dying, and needed a life-saving surgery.

 

Three years before when she was 10-years-old Mercy had accidentally ingested lye, a colorless, odorless chemical also called caustic soda which is used to process rubber from the rubber trees on the plantation where Mercy grew up. Her esophagus was destroyed and she had lain in a hospital and eventually an orphanage for 3 years begging God and her caretakers to let her die.

 

Over the next several months we helped Mercy through the surgery and recovery and eventually the people who brought her from Africa came and on July 3, 2008 and literally dropped her on our doorstep. Before sending our family to the nations, God had sent the nations to us.

 

God had spoken to our family with a megaphone. He wanted us to have a heart for missions and especially the vulnerable children of the world. We took her in, loved her, ministered to her, and eventually adopted her as our own.

 

We had no idea the incredible spiritual battle that would erupt the moment she walked through our door. It nearly took us out. It certainly drove us to our knees. It was beautiful, miraculous, and excruciatingly painful all at the same time but it was exactly what we needed to go from the regular army to special forces in the kingdom of God.

 
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Today Mercy is a beautiful, healthy, and happy girl. Adopting Mercy has been an incredible trial of faith and at the same time the single greatest miracle of love and transformation that we have ever personally witnessed and experienced.

 

After God dropped Mercy on our doorstep, we were feeling pretty satisfied that we had discovered the reason for the burning in our hearts for missions that had begun a few years before. I had prayed my “safe” prayer and God had answered immediately and miraculously. Furthermore, He had healed Mercy physically and was in the process of healing her spiritually and emotionally. Surely this was God’s complete plan for us being involved in orphan ministry and discipling the nations… or maybe He was about to go beyond what we could imagine or think…

 

Having Mercy in our home, hearing her horrible stories of abduction, torture, poverty, famine, disease, danger, and fleeing the civil war in her country, and seeing her tears and her many struggles broke our hearts for the orphans of the world and readied us for the next calling of God on our family.

 

Aflame For God 16 – The Condition For A Great Miracle