Archives June 2012

Where to begin, it is dificult for me to decide. It all started for me about three years ago, well I will go even further back than that, it really started for me way back when I was a little girl. I grew up the youngest of five kids, the baby of the family, and as awesome as being spoiled and babied was, I always secretly longed for a younger sister, I even used to pretend to teach her how to ride a bike or to make a bed. I never shared this desire with my parents but it stuck with me until about six years ago, when a friend of the family adopted a beautiful little girl from I think it was China, this really started me thinking, and eventually praying, one night as I laid in my bed, I said a silent prayer…… God please give me a baby sister, and if she can not come to me, please send me to her some day, here am I Lord send me that was my prayer every night for the next two weeks, little did I know that three short years later my prayer would be answered, I met my sister Mercy the first time when I was about 15, she came to visit me at my house, I would never at the time had guessed that God intended this to be the answer to my prayer, but she was, over time she ended up part of our family.

Then in June 2009, my Dad and my sister told us that they were going on a mission trip to Bogota Colombia, I was not very interested, to me that missionary stuff is good for some people but not for me, I was good right where I was. It was even worse when my Dad and my sister came back broken, and totally sold out for God and the wonderful children of Colombia, especially two little angels Heidy and Ginary, Story after story, tear after tear, photo after photo they retold the story of their ´´heavenly heart break´´ as my sister in law Jana puts it. I have to admit I was jealous, the obvious love and adoration my Dad had for these kids tugged at my selfish side, and because of this I refused in my heart to care or to participate in the excitment my family shared over this door God had opened for us, But as always God had a different plan for me, and I eventually found myself on an airplane to Colombia with my dad and my two sisters, my plan was to just enjoy myself and have a vacation and not get ´´heart broken´´ over a bunch of kids, well I for the entire week I did just that, I enjoyed hanging out with the kids, but I refused to get close to anyone, and I definatly did not cry. On the last day, we visited the institution where my sister heidy lived at the time, we went through the normal rutine, playing games, holding precious broken conversations with our little gangs, and just enjoying eachothers company. Finally it came time to say goodbye, and to my surprise, my heart hurt, I had tried to hard not to be touched, not to be pulled into the emotion of it all, but as I hugged my baby sisters goodbye, I felt the knot roll in my throat and had to step away to keep my composure.

Back home in Houston, my family made the desicion to adopt these two beautiful girls, I had to admit I was really excited, I felt as though God had given me again what I wanted, another answer to my prayer, unfortunately prayers are not always answered the way we want them to be, our plans are not God´s plans, and we were unable to adopt the girls, the day I heard the news, I remember running to my favorite place to sit and think, I ran and plopped myself down in the soft grass, I sat in silence for a while and then wispered to myself, why God, why?……. why??? why put us through this? why could we have just never met them? why get my hopes up and then dash them? is this what I asked for? I did not understand why that had to happen, why God would let that happen not just to us but to them, but somehow we made it though.

That next June, my dad and my sister in law Jana where planning to go on another trip to Bogota, I desperatly wanted to go, and somehow felt that I really needed to, that I was supposed to, and as God would have it, the plans with my sister in law fell through and I was able to go with my mom and my dad, I have to say, I was not prepared for what God had for me, I was not ready for this one week in my life to be my turning point. God touched my heart that week in a way that I cannot explain, and cannot replicate, I always look back to that week being the happiest of my life, for the first time in my life, I felt like I had built my house directly under the waterfall of grace, I felt like my heart was one with Jesus, and every child I saw I wanted to hug and give a huge kiss, and that is just what I did. I met a little boy on that trip named Andres, I dont know what it was, but he made me love life, he sat with me as I made bracelets out of string and just talked and talked, I did not understand of course, but I did not care, this little boy wanted to tell me his life and I was more than ready to just sit and listen, when I got on the bus to leave, I could not stop the tears from flowing, my lips were salty from kissing his sweaty cheek, now any other time in my life I would have cringed at the thought, but this time, I felt privileged to be able to kiss this little boy, to love him, he inspired me to write my poem “Kissing the face of Jesus”.

How many times have I longed
To see my Lord, to sing Him songs

To stand before Him, to give Him love?
To live with Him in His home above?

How many times have I cried
He said He was here, I felt He lied

“Lord I want to see you, to touch you”
And then I learned what I never knew

I found Him right were He said
In his tiny home, in his tiny bed

A little child, across the world
He warmed my heart, which once was cold

I found what I sought in the least of these
Now to my heart he holds the keys

Jesus’ true face, without pride or care
A find like this though humble is rare

This is why I write this rhyme
I will never cringe at the dirt or grime

When I kiss the cheek of mi amigas
I am kissing the face of Jesus

When I arrived home at the end of this trip, I grabbed my dad and said, “I do not want to go back to normal life, I can´t, there is an emptiness in my soul that can only be filled when I am serving God´s children and showing them His love I am ready to go back home.” And since then I have been trying to get back every chance I get. My heart is in Bogota Colombia, my family is here, my baby sisters live here, this is my home, I just live in Texas right now, When I told the people I work with I was taking two months to live in Bogota Colombia and spend my days with orphan kids, they all said….. “why?” I wish I could say it is out of some sense of spiritual maturity, but really it is because this is where I am happy, I am more blessed then I can bless. I am out served at every turn. And I feel like I am doing what I was put on this earth for. I have purpose. I am more than a wandering soul with no plan. God had this in motion before I was born and I would not wish it any other way. And this my friends is why I am in Bogota right now.

Love Brooke

I met Constance Carter the first month of working as a manicurist at Radiance advanced skin and body care in the Woodlands. She was my client. It didn’t take long for me to realize God had set me up. About 5 min into the appointment she abruptly waylaid me with the question, “So do you believe in God? Do you know who Jesus is?” I laughed to myself “Lady you have no idea who you are talking to.” I politely responded to her “Yes, I was actually raised in a Christian home and we all love God.”  From that point on for the remainder of our time together we talked about God, people, our experiences with church and ministry and mainly our love for Jesus and the gospel. She quickly detected that I was a bit jaded toward church and she probed me with questions about it. I made it evident to her that I loved God with all my heart and my desire was toward ministry and loving God and others but experience had put a bad taste in my mouth toward “church people”. She encouraged me to follow my passion and to not let the fire God had put in me to burn out but to get active with it and allow it to heal my heart. I definitely felt a special presence of God with us in that room as we visited and I knew God was up to something.

Constance shared with me about her calling namely prison ministry and near the end of our time together she invited me to come with her on her next visit to the women’s prison in Texas City. I knew when presented with such an opportunity to love God by loving others I could not say no. We exchanged numbers and I told her to count me in. When she left I prayed, “God, I don’t know what you’re doing but I can’t deny this is you. If you have something for me with this lady and prison ministry make it plain and give me the courage to follow through.”

The day before the appointed date for us to go she texted me to profusely apologize that the chaplain at the prison had made a mistake and did not put my name on the list for visitors the following day. I wasn’t going to be able to come this time. I told her it was all right and to just count me in the next time. I sighed and thought to myself, “it just wasn’t meant to be.” The next morning Constance calls me and says, “I don’t know what happened but I called the prison and when they read the list of visitors to me you are actually on it!” She was excited and so was I. We both agreed it was spiritual warfare and we were back on track. On the drive over to the prison we had great fellowship getting to know each other and singing worship to God. Upon arrival we all checked ourselves for contraband and prepared ourselves mentally and spiritually for what God would have for us this trip. I had never been to a prison so it was all mind blowing from going through the gate and security about three or four times to passing the “pill line” and arriving at the chapel. Constance amazed me. Every person we talked to she would greet with a big smile and an enthusiastic “how are you?” and when the exchange was over she would joyfully tell them “Jesus loves you!” As we walked through the prison heading toward the chapel every inmate we passed, Constance would greet them with her usual pleasantry and then invite them to “church”. Once we were in the chapel and ready to go the six of us in the group wandered around greeting and hugging the ladies that showed up to church. There were about 30 or 40 altogether. We began the service by singing, singing, and singing worship to God. The ladies love Constance and joyously joined in the praise. After we had sang 2 or 3 songs their choir came forward and sang Days of Elijah. When it got to the bridge they sang their hearts out to there’s no God like Jehovah, there’s no God like Jehovah, there’s no God like Jehovah! During the song they had three women with a beautiful sash in each hand dancing down the isles with the sashes streaming around them and above them as they skipped up and down the isles. It was breath taking. One of Constance’s dear friends there at this point had a song she had worked on for Constance and she wanted to come and perform it for her and more importantly for her Savior.  She was a dancer and had developed choreography to the song. The song was about being in the presence of God and the freedom, love, peace and joy of being in His arms. It was simply beautiful what the girl had done with the song and the entire time she had a big gorgeous smile on. Later I learned she is struggling with Lupus, 50% of her lungs work and she has a pacemaker. But you would never have known for the joy she displayed while dancing for Jesus. After more singing Constance introduced me as a new visitor and explained how we met and left me to share with them what God had on my heart for them For 5 min. I told them that I had not prepared anything because I knew if I was meant to share something God would give it to me when the time came. I explained to them that I was very nervous and felt very humbled to speak to them because coming from a family that loved me and cared for me and raised me in the path of Christ I did not feel I could not even begin to understand all that the women there had gone through and how could I begin to know what to speak into their life or have the audacity to feel the right to do so. I gave them a bit of my testimony and experiences. My focus was if you are not gravitating toward Christ you are gravitating away from Christ. God is the hound of heaven. He is love, joy and peace. He wants each of us but we have to stop running from Him. I told them whatever their experience in life is to not mistake that as God. That is what we so often do. I told them to let God woo them. Then I felt led to sing “Orphan’s of God” to them by Avalon. Many of them began to weep. The other women came up and shared. Our time was up so we took a moment to pray over the pregnant ladies and to speak with and pray with anyone else who wanted to. It was at this point Nancy came up to me. She was one of the inmates. She told me that even though I didn’t feel like I had anything to give these women what I had shared touches these women and reaches them deeper than I realized. She told me to take my experience and all that I had learned from my family and follow my calling. She looked hard at me and said this is your calling. You could save so many women by your obedience to Christ. She then gave me her testimony. She said there was hardly anything out there she hadn’t done and she is now serving her 13 year sentence for it but God had pursued her and she surrendered to Him one stormy night and she will never be the same. She says she knows what it is when the scripture says once I was lost and now I’m found. When it speaks about having an old man. She says she will not and can never go back to her old self. She is a new woman. She began to tear up at this point and we hugged like we were sisters and we’d known each other our whole lives. After we prayed together it was time to go.

Our group decided to stop at Denny’s for something to eat on our way back so we could share our experiences during our visit. We laughed, we cried and thanked God for blessing our trip. During our time there our waitress overheard what we had been doing at the prison and after pouring some coffee she said, “I just want ya’ll to know I think what you’re doing at the prison is awesome and keep it up don’t get discouraged because some of us actually are listening and what you’re doing isn’t in vain. I’ve been out for 6 months and I’m not messing up again.” We all just looked at each other in amazement and said you know I think we’ve just entered the twilight zone. And for all of you reading this anytime God presents an opportunity for you to love Him by loving others, when you chose to follow him into the entire world preaching the gospel it is like entering the twilight zone. You will be on the ride of your life and you will never experience His love so deep or be so fulfilled because you did what you were made to do.

Love Beverly Bullen

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Well this is my first blog post ever! To be honest I am not sure what to say or where to start. So I am sure the best place to start is to introduce myself. My name is Luke Bullen I am fixing to be 26 years old next month, I am married to Misti Nichole, we have been married for 3 years, we have 2 children Joy almost 2 years, and the new addition to the family Joseph who will be 4 months on the 23rd. I work for the the Texas Department of Criminal Justice (corrections) and have been there almost 3 years now but my hearts desire is to go into full time missions work. I am sure some of you are wondering and if not I know I am. So why now? We have seen your dad around and heard him talk about missions and seen him serving orphans but we have not seen you not even in any of the pictures. Well to be honest I do have a pretty good excuse but thats all it really is but here it is. I had just gotten married in April of 09 two months before my dads first trip to Bogota prior to that I had been working in Dallas Tx for about 4 months and had been doing my own thing. I had pulled away from doing ministry work after going to college I tried to get my heart back in it when I came back but after my family had gone though a rough patch my heart was no longer in it. I was more focused on my job and education. Don’t get me wrong I helped out with my dad’s church even sang in the coir but thats what it was my dad’s church I never really took ownership. While away at college I had given the devil a foothold in my life and have up to this point not been actively pursuing God. Believe it or not marriage has taught me a lot about God. God has been using being married to my sweet wife to knock me to my knees. As well as working with some of the worst of humanity at the prison. Over the past couple of years the questions would come to mind questions like what does it really mean to be saved?, what does it really mean to have a relationship with Christ?, and is it enough to just get by? and not just the sunday school answers I know all the sunday school answers I have been the one to tell them. I want the true answer the one that stings when you hear it cause it make you have to get up and do something or make a change in your life. What I mean by that last question is is it enough to just go to work every day and go to church on Sundays, if you can make it, and live the Christian cultures spin of the american dream is it enough to get you into heaven. One question I have wanted to ask someone is what is you biggest fear? Mine is to come to the end of this life and have never done something worth doing. To find myself at the judgement seat of Christ and not hear the words well done good and faithful servant. So why now? because I have come to the conclusion that living life just trying to make it is not enough. If we do not actively pursue God with everything we have until the day we die and live life like He is watching us and it matters to Him how we live it. We will be surprised when we come to the judgement seat of Christ and our name is not called and we hear the words “I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.” Matt. 7:23 What I get from that verse is that we must actively pursue a relationship with God almighty for Him to “know” us. Sure He is God He is all knowing He knows everything there is to know about us. He knows us better than we know ourselves but in the end according to Matt 7:23 if we do not walk daily with Him and actively pursue that relationship we might as well stop lying to ourselves and live it up because all we are doing is playing at it and it will get us know where in the end.

Please give me your feed back or questions I will answer them in later posts. I will be writing another blog as a continuation of this one this is just an intro. I want to talk more about what it means to have a relationship with Christ. I am on a path to learn what having a relationship with Christ really looks like and invite you to walk with me.

The one prayer that I find myself praying more than any other is, “Lord, make me hungry for You.” The one prayer I pray for my family and especially over my children more than any other is, “Lord, give my children such a hunger for You that nothing in this world will be able to fill it.” “Lord, let them and let me not be satisfied with anything short of all that you have for us in You. I have discipled them, I have taught them Your word, but unless you create a hunger in them so great that it overshadows all the things this world throws at them they will not be all that they can be for You.”

Ministry, marriage, family, career, etc. must always be gushing out of the overflow of our personal passion for and relationship with Jesus or it will soon bury us and cease to transform lives, ours or theirs. David’s prayer in Psalm 63 never gets old for me. I could pray it 10 times a day and still choke up when he says things like, “my soul thirsts for You and my soul pursues hard after You.” Soul hunger is the ignition of mission and the resulting passion and enjoyment of God when He answers is the fuel. And so I pray for hunger!

Our movement October class Graduated last Sunday. I was so happy for all of my friends and proud of all they accomplished. But I was very sad to see them go home. I think my kid at Nickerson Gardens will miss them the most. As the October Class was saying good bye the kids I realized that in two months it will be me saying good bye. It is very bitter sweet thought leaving. I am ready for what God has for me next but I will miss my kid so much I think it might brake my heart to have to leave them. I love my kids so much, even when they are a handful on the bus or will not be quite during church. I pray that my little time with them will be a turning point in their lives for God.

Last Friday we had a movie night on the parking lot of the Dream Center. We had made little cardboard car for the kids to make it feel like they were at a drive in theater. We bussed in all of our Adopt a Block sites. The kids went craze at the thought of being able to watch a movie out side. We had hotdogs, popcorn and candy for all of the kids. My kids had a blast! I pray that I am a example of God’s love every time I with my kids and an the families at my Adopt a Block site. Pray for me to have the strength to finish strong.

I seriously have no words to type right now, even now after two and a half weeks when I get a moment to stop and think where I am what I am doing here, it blows my mind. I am so blessed to just be here with these wonderful kids ¨´serving´´. I say ´´serving´´ because as always they bless and serve me more than I could ever give back. My first week I spent most of my time in Santa maria, one of the larger institutions, getting to know the girls and reuniting with old friends. From braiding hair to making a fool of myself showing off my ´´dance moves´´ every second with these precious people is a gift. I have been able to spend a lot of time with my godsister Heidy and have some much needed sister time and conversation, it has been a big relief for the Profesores to have a fellow peer the girls can confide in and be positivly enfluanced by.

My first English lesson was very nerve wrecking for me, first of all because, as I tell my Colombian mom, I have never taught anyone anything in my life, and also cause my limited spanish makes teaching english difficult, but thankfully the girls are always patient with me and love to learn anything they can. One of my high lights here is that I was reunited with a friend from the vacation host program last summer Louisa. I didnt have the slightest idea that when I walked into San Miguelito (a smaller institution for babies and pregnant mothers) that I would be greeted by one of my best friends whom I had lost contact with a couple months ago, the joy I felt and still feel everytime I visit is unexplainable. I am constantly reminded every day of the words No Orphans Of God, this statment is so true, the more time I spend with these girls the more I fall in love with each and every one of them, and if I a sinful being have such love in my heart for them how much more does their Holy Heavenly Father love them, I cannot but be humbled and blessed to be allowed to live here and love on these amazing people.

’cause Lord with You…… there’s nothing I cannot do….
—
Your friend!
Brooke,

Thinking back on the nine months I have spent at the Dream Center I can’t believe how much I have learned and how much closer of a relationship I now have with Jesus. I can’t wait to start a new chapter of life but I am also sad to close this chapter of preparation. I know I will miss the many hours of quiet reflection and searching for the Father’s heart. I know this time at the Dream Center is a gift and I am determined not to waste my last three months. In September when I go home I want to know I used every moment to grow closer and closer to my beloved Jesus and I used every opportunity to lead others to Him. My desire is to get to the point of no return in my relationship with Jesus. To get to the point in which I know that no matter what happens me, I will never go back to my old self or drift away from God because I now know that nothing in this world can compare with an hour in the presence of my Beloved and true happiness only comes from time spent with Jesus. “In your presence there is fullness of joy and at your right hand are pleasures evermore.” Psalm 16:11 Is the cry of my heart. How can you look of joy in earthly thing when you know with your whole heart that there is fullness of joy in His presence? Why would you look to drugs or relationship after relationship when you know that at His right hand are pleasures evermore? The Bible is not a list of rules to please God and keep you from having fun but it is the key to ultimate joy. Jesus is not keeping you from a good time but giving you the satisfaction your heart need so desperately. The worship serves is not just something we do before the pastor preaches but a way to enter the presence of our Lover. In the Bible Jesus is referred to as our Father, Bridegroom, Friend, Savior and Lord. Most of the time we only see Him as our Lord and Savior but as a Father and Best Friend He is so much more personal. Jesus has to be worth giving up everything this world can offer and even worth facing suffering and death or else He is not worth your life. I can say with confidence JESUS IS WORTH IT. I will live the rest of my life showing others that Jesus is worth their life and their all. Jesus is not just fire insurance but a Pearl of great price that is worth everything you have and more. To say the lest this time at the Dream Center has given me a greater passion to live every moment and give everything I have for Jesus because I know with all my heart He is WORTH it.

Our daughter Brooke left on Friday for a two month internship teaching English and Bible in an orphanage in Bogota, Colombia and we are so proud of her and so excited for her. She sent me a message last night with only three words, “unspeakably awesome day!” God is so good to allow us to do ministry together.

In the last two months all of our children, ages 17-25, have come to me at different times and reaffirmed to me their desire to, at different levels, work together with us in ministry to the nations. I could not have heard words more precious to my father’s ears. Of course, they are their own people now and have their own relationship with God and He may send us to opposite corners of the globe in the years to come but right now we are headed in the same direction and it is incredibly BLESSED.