Archives September 2010

Today we headed out to visit a transition home for young people ages 18-21 who have aged out of the orphanage. We were very excited because we were going to see some of our dear friends who once lived at Ciudadella orphanage in Madrid but have since moved to this new place. We were also going to surprise them by taking them out to lunch and to the mall to buy each one an outfit of clothes. It was wonderful to see each of them. So many precious friends. Names like Yuli, JLo, Susan, Natalia, and on and on. Sweet girls and some boys as well that we have built a relationship with this year. We were very interested to see this transition home because we hope to have our own like it next year. After touring the house and hearing some of the young people share about their lives there we loaded everyone up and went to a pizza place that one of the girls worked at. We had a wonderful feast as 18″ pizza after 18″ pizza kept coming until we were all stuffed and we had 3 whole pizzas left. The young people from the transition home were overjoyed when we boxed up the extra pizza and told them they could take it home to eat later. They rarely get such a treat. We rolled… ahem I mean walked out of the pizza shop and gathered on the street corner taking group photos and visiting while we waited for our bus to pull around. About that time a little street family consisting of a little hunched over mom and a little hunched over dad with big scars on his legs from some sort of injury, and a dirty but cute little boy about 7 I would guess very politely came over and asked if we could help them out with any money so that they could feed their boy. As some were reaching in their pockets for pesos, one of the orphan girls from the transition home walked over with a smile and handed the family the box full of left over pizza and said, “God bless you.” My heart stopped for a minute and I saw the same amazed expression on the faces of the rest of the team as it soaked in what we had just witnessed. The orphan giving her food to the poor family. There is something very poetic, ironic, and tragic in that exchange and also something very spiritual that changed something deep inside my heart right there on that street corner. We have so much here in America that we don’t even know how to give out of sacrifice. It was humbling to say the least. Back at the transition home we said our tearful goodbyes and headed for the airport. Another successful trip into the fields of the fatherless transforming the lives of orphans and team members alike. To God be the glory.

Once again, I am writing three months after the fact from memory.

This was to be our last day at Amparo De Ninas and our last day to be with our girls. Lisa was up most of the night sick from the stress of having to leave the girls today and was so sick this morning that she couldn’t get out of bed. Sandra, who is a doctor, gave her some medicine and she finally fell asleep and slept all day. We left her and went to the orphanage. There was plenty of games and crafts and then the girls called us all together and some of the girls did a synchronized cheer/dance for us in their matching sweat suits. It was really cute. Then they called us into the room where they did the presentation for us on the first day. Many of the girls were wearing traditional Colombian costumes and they demonstrated many traditional dances for us. It was wonderful. Our Goddaughter Ginary was one of the dancers and she did very well. As the meeting broke up, we were all pulled into a huge congo line and danced around the large room several times. It was so fun. Then they called us all to the front and presented each of us with a bag of Colombian coffee and a manilla (woven Colombian bracelet). Ginary and Heidy presented me my manilla. They had woven one each for Lisa and I. I now have six manillas on my arm that I have received from different trips and made by different girls. I was given the very first one by a girl named Yecena. She looked at me very seriously and said, “Never take this off” and I haven’t. Now I have 6 of them that I never take off. Many times God has used these Manillas to cause people to ask me what they mean and then I have been able to share about the orphans of Colombia and the love of Jesus for orphans that He has poured into my heart and consequently pours out to these children.

Finally it came time to leave. I kissed and hugged my girls goodbye 5 or 6 times and then walked to the big steel gate and out into the dirty little potted alley that leads out into the street. This was the hate part of my love/hate relationship with this little alley for I was leaving my girls for several weeks or maybe months. I felt the hot tears rolling down my face and dripping off of my beard as I walked to the bus. Antonio was standing at the door of the bus and he reached out and gave me a big hug. I climbed into the bus, sat down and wept out my complaint to God that I could not take my girls with me. He heard me and brought to my mind many scriptures of comfort and hope. I know that He is working on behalf of me and my girls and He has a plan much bigger than I can imagine.

The night I originally sat down to write about this day my blog software crashed and I never got to write about day 5 and 6 so here goes from memory 3 months after the fact.

Our morning devotion centered around Power Through Weakness. I encouraged the group that when they “see” and “feel” like Jesus and then inevitably feel absolutely powerless to “do” anything about the great need around us that we must remember that God delights to do great things through weak people. He loves for His treasures to be carried in jars of clay. He is the one ultimately doing the work. We are to simply be obedient and His power will flow through us to the world.

We went on a wonderful walk to a large park in Bogota with the girls from Amparo De Ninas today. It was really fun walking through Bogota, a city of 10 million people with 80 orphan girls, our team of 30 and some nuns and staff. The most memorable part of the walk was when we came to a large intersection in the city with no crosswalk or lights and Sister Hilma stepped out in her long flowing white robes and raised her hand in the air towards 4 or 5 lanes of speeding traffic and they all came to an immediate stop and then all 120 of us crossed behind her. It was like Moses at the Red Sea. Unfortunately on the way home Sister Hilma road in the bus and so when we got to that same intersection I tried doing what she had done… I nearly got ran down… everyone finally got across but I was cursed at in Spanish by more than one driver and nearly hit more than once. It was hilarious. I guess if I was wearing the habit of a nun or priest it would have worked better. Ha ha.

I so enjoyed the walk and visiting with the girls and seeing Lisa, Heidy and Brooke walking hand in hand and sometimes with Heidy’s head on Brooke’s shoulder. It was so sweet.

When we arrived at the park our little friends from Pro Nacer Boys Orphanage were there and we had a wonderful time playing games and sitting on the grass visiting. Sister Hilma came over and sat by me and we talked for a long time about the children and about my Goddaughters. She was very sweet. My ninja friend Oscar was there and we had a few more go arounds too. As I write this I miss him. He is such a cute boy. When it came time for lunch we had catered box fried chicken lunches for everyone and the children loved it! We had a wonderful lunch and then some more fun and games.

On the way back a very pretty 17 year old whose name escapes me at the moment took my hand and asked if she could walk with me. I said, “Sure” and we walked the entire 4 to 5 miles or so back to the orphanage hand in hand. Between her English and my Spanish we were able to communicate very well and we talked about everything under the sun. She shared with me her story and how that she had never had a father or any other men in her life. She had lived alone with her aunt from birth until she came to the orphanage. I began to see why she wanted to walk with me. She had seen me with my daughter Brooke and my Goddaughters, Heidy and Ginary, and she longed to have a father. I shared with her many things about life, about good men and bad men, about values and morals. She was very open and had such a sweet heart. We laughed and joked about many things as well. After building some rapport I asked her, “what do you think of Jesus Christ?” Her answer brought tears to my eyes. She replied, “He is my Father, and He is the best Father in the whole world.” We talked much about Him after that and she promised me that she would never lose faith and that she would always trust her Father and follow His path and not the path that the world offers. I know that I will never see her again on this earth because she was scheduled to be moved out of the institution shortly after we left but I was so grateful that the Lord let me stand in His stead and hold her hand for that 4 miles and for a brief moment in time let her feel what it was like to have a daddy. I believe that I represented Him well and I hope she will never forget because I know that I never will. To know that there are 577,000 children in Colombia just like her is what makes me keep going back again and again. Though I will never be able to hold the hand of or share Jesus with each of those 1/2 million orphans, I’m reminded of the old man walking on the beach where thousands of starfish have washed ashore and as he stoops to pick one up a little boy says, “Hey Mister, you can’t save all of these starfish” and the old man smiles as he tosses the starfish back into the sea, “saved that one!”

Another sweet memory comes from our arrival back at the orphanage. We were so hot and tired and so we broke out some frozen yogurt pops. I was teasing Heidy and Brooke and they were laughing and teasing back. Suddenly Brooke reached out with her yogurt pop and wiped it on my glasses as if she was poking me in the eye. I jumped back and laughed and the shocked look on Heidy’s face was priceless. She could not believe Brooke would do that to me or that I wasn’t mad. She laughed and laughed as I stood there with yogurt dripping off my glasses and then she got the most pitiful face and said teasingly, “Papi pobre, Brooke usted es una hija mala al papi.” (Poor Daddy…, Brooke!, you are a bad daughter to Daddy) Then she took my glasses and ran off to the office and when she returned they were all washed and clean. It was too sweet.

Sometimes I dream that I am not able to rescue my sweet Heidy and she ends up on the street and I am searching and searching for her and when I finally find her she is gaunt and diseased and then I wake up weeping and begging God to help me to help her and all of them. I’m reminded of a quote from Bob Pierce, founder of World Vision, “God, let my heart be broken by the things that break Your heart.”

The butterflies were swarming in my stomach this morning when I awoke because I knew I would see my sweet Colombian daughters today. We had our usual breakfast and then I shared in our team devotion a fourth aspect of Jesus ministry, His touch. We explored several of the places in scripture where Jesus touches men, women, children and heals them, comforts them, and blesses them. He also allows others to touch Him. When we go to Amparo De Ninas today, one of the ways that we will be able to imitate Jesus is with the hugs and kisses that these girls so desperately want and need and which we can gladly provide. We may not heal leprosy or raise the dead with our touch but we can heal hearts and bring hope to lonely souls.

The reunion with our daughters was beyond words. Their little arms around my neck and their kisses on my cheek and their “I love you Papi” were more healing for me than I can express. For me today, they were the hands and feet of Jesus. It was wonderful to see our other little friends at Amparo today and to make many new ones.

The girls had planned a really nice presentation for us and they presented each of us with a bouquet of silk flowers.

Sitting there in the presentation with little Heidy between Lisa and me, holding her little brown hand as she leaned on Lisa’s chest, I was once again amazed at how God has brought this whole Colombia connection into our lives in the last twelve months and the supernatural bond that we feel with these people. God is so good. After the presentation it was time for lunch and we enjoyed sitting around the tables as one big family.

Next it was out to the court to play some games and make bracelets and visit. It wasn’t long before we were all sitting in the shade just getting to know each other and enjoying each others company. Then it was off for a tour of the grounds and facility. We saw where they make clothes and bake and many other things. When we went into the dormitories and saw where our girls sleep it was so sweet to see their pictures of us prominently displayed.

Later there was lots of dancing and fun.

And then it was goodbye for today. But tomorrow we are going to spend the whole day together in the big beautiful city park and have a cookout so goodbyes this time were not too sad 🙂

We enjoyed a very nice dinner on top of the mountain and after a few hours of sleep, we will be ready to go again.

Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless His holy name. What a wonderful day we had today! We started out the morning with our team devotion. This time we explored some of the many places in scripture where it reveals that Jesus not only “saw” and “felt” but He also “acted.” We determined in our hearts to imitate Him in this as well today. Our visit today was at ProNacer, a Christian orphanage in Bogota proper with fifty two boys in a very small three-story house in a rough part of town. The staff and leadership of this orphanage are devout Christians who teach the Bible and Christian values to the children diligently. The Spirit of Christ was evident everywhere there and He really made our day bright and beautiful. This was my third visit to ProNacer this year and it was so exciting to see the recognition and excitement in the faces of all my little friends as we walked in. We spent most of the day at the public basket ball court across the street from the orphanage playing every kind of game imaginable. The Kamas brothers have done a wonderful job of managing the games on this trip.

I had to stay on guard all day for sneak attacks from two little ninjas who insisted on testing my martial arts skills left over from my youth 🙂

The ministry provided each boy with two pairs of tennis shoes and we are going to provide a bus to take the boys to the park on Thursday where we and the girls from Amparo De Ninas, where we will be the next three days, will meet up with them for a cookout.

When most of the boys had tired from the ball games they sat down on the grass at the edge of the court and began to make bracelets with the brightly colored string our team had brought them. The intricate patterns were stunning. Many members of the team received bracelets from their little friends before they left.

Once again many hearts were touched and much love was exchanged on both sides. One sad note today was some information that we learned in talking with the staff. They have fifty two boys here of which forty five are eligible for adoption and yet they have only had three boys adopted from here in the last three years. I know the whole team would agree with me in saying that these were some of the sweetest, most respectful, well behaved boys we have ever met and we committed to spreading the news about ProNacer and helping these little boys to achieve their fondest dream… a family of their own.

The personal highlight of my day happened as I was standing in the street next to my Colombian friend Sandra and her cell phone rang. Somehow my Goddaughter, Ginary, had heard that the ministry team was in town and she called Sandra to ask, “Where is my daddy?” Teasing her, Sandra said, “I’m sorry Ginary but your family wasn’t able to make this trip.” Ginary replies, “I understand, it will be ok.” Without another word Sandra hands me the phone and I say, “Hello daughter! I’m coming to see you tomorrow!” Needless to say, there was much excitement on the other end of the phone line and many “I love you’s” and she just kept saying over and over, “bonito, bonito, lindo, lindo” (beautiful, beautiful). I then handed the phone to Lisa and she and Ginary got to exchange “I love you’s.” We will be spending the next three days with them and I can hardly wait to get there in the morning. Lord, give us your eyes, give us your heart, and give us your grace to help these dear children.

Today my sweet daughter Beverly turns nineteen years old. Last year on this date, on her eighteenth birthday, she was here in Bogota with me and we had a party for her at Sandra’s house with a big cake. As we sat at dinner all of the team who was there last year reminisced about Bevy’s B-Day party and asked me to tell her Feliz Cumpleanos! Happy birthday Beverly. Missing you today.

On the bus ride back to the hotel, my sweet daughter Brooke wrote a poem entitled, Kissing the face of Jesus. I wanted to share it with you.

Kissing the face of Jesus

How many times have I longed?

To see my Lord, to sing Him songs?

To stand before Him, to give Him love?

To live with Him in His home above?

How many times have I cried?

He said He was here, I felt He lied.

“Lord I want to see you, to touch you”

And then I learned what I never knew

I found Him right were He said

In his tiny home, in his tiny bed

A little child, across the world

He warmed my heart, which once was cold

I found what I sought in the least of these

Now to my heart he holds the keys

Jesus’ true face, without pride or care

A find like this though humble is rare

This is why I write this rhyme

I will never cringe at the dirt or grime

When I kiss the cheek of mi amigos y amigas

I am kissing the face of Jesus

Brooke Danielle Bullen

In our team devotion this morning before leaving for the orphanage we talked about the fact that Jesus not only “saw” but He felt deeply. In over twenty instances the gospel writers give us a peak into the heart of Jesus and how He felt in different circumstances and so I encouraged the team to remember when they feel the pain, loneliness, sadness, joy, and love of the orphans around them that it is the heart of Jesus that they are feeling and to let down the walls and embrace the emotions as Jesus did.

We returned to Ciudad De La Nina today and were greeted by old friends and new friends that we met yesterday. The sun was out so there were many outdoor games and activities going on throughout the day. It was such a joy to see the team members who were on their first trip here surrounded by children laughing and playing and talking away. Love is a universal language for sure. We had so much fun sitting around visiting and listening to each girls story. Some were quite heartbreaking and it was wonderful to comfort them and encourage them to trust in God for their future.

Lunch time came and we brought out four hundred hamburgers with french fries to give the kids a treat. It was so fun seeing them dig into their food. The happy chatter around the tables was more than thanks enough.

After lunch, Kylie Novak and the other teens on our team broke out the craft making supplies and the girls crowded around to make beaded and string bracelets. One sweet girl named Jenny brought me a bracelet she had made and as she tied it on my wrist she firmly told me never to take it off 🙂 I now have six bracelets that a Colombian orphan girl has placed on my arm with the same firm instruction. Two of them I haven’t removed in almost a year. Every time I come back they come up to me and pull up my sleeve to see if I still have the bracelet on my arm. They are a constant reminder that Jesus has other lambs that are not of this fold and He must bring them also so that they will be one fold with one Shepherd and He has told me that if I love Him I will feed His lambs.

Oh! It was so good to be back today with all of our little friends at Ciudad De La Nina (City of the Girl) Orphanage in Madrid. So many hugs, so many smiles, and a few tears as we were reunited once again. This is my fifth trip to Bogota in the last twelve months and I rejoice and praise the Lord that He has chosen me and my family to participate in His work with the orphans of Colombia. We have a wonderful team that God has once again hand picked for this particular trip. It is a special joy for me to have my sweet wife of twenty five years, Lisa, and my sixteen year old daughter, Brooke, with me as well. Our day started with breakfast and delicious Colombian coffee. Before we boarded the bus for the orphanage I was blessed to be able to give a devotion for the team. This whole week I will be exploring with the team in these devotions some different aspects of Jesus approach to ministry and serving people. Today we explored the fact that Jesus “saw” and then felt compassion. As I have shared in my last four posts on Compassion, over twenty times in the New Testament it says that Jesus “saw” someone and then felt and acted. So today I shared with the team that Jesus wants to relive His life in each of us and so when we go to the orphanage we need to give Him our eyes and let Him “see” through us the needs of these dear children and then we will feel His heart and know His will for us and why we are here.

First thing after we arrived, one hundred and sixty girls gave a presentation for us with some dances and some songs and then I was privileged to share the gospel with them. I told them how that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit had in eternity past enjoyed the supreme love and supreme happiness of their perfect relationship in perfect holiness and how that they wanted to share that wonderful love and happiness and holiness with someone else and so they created man and woman to walk together with in the garden in the cool of the day. But man and woman wanted more than just a childlike relationship with God. Their pride and lust lead them to try life on their own without God and this painful, sinful, corrupt world is the result. But God was not satisfied to let man and woman and their offspring go their own way and so the Father sent the Son to become one of them and to live their life and to feel their pain and to give His life to undo the damage that their pride and lust had done and purchase them back to Himself so that once again they could join in that beautiful familial relationship of love and happiness between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And now by faith when we believe and confess with our mouth this wonderful gift we are restored to that childlike relationship with our loving Heavenly Father and we are left here for now to share His love with those around us and one day in Heaven we will spend the rest of eternity enjoying that supreme love and supreme happiness and supreme holiness as one big beautiful blood bought family. I then invited them to pray with me and ask the Father to restore them through the death of Jesus back to the family of God.

We spent the rest of the day visiting and taking photos and having a wonderful time. It was rainy today so we spent most of our time inside. At one point Shoby John, one of my dear friends on our team came up and said, “Hey, let’s sing” so several of us gathered around and sang praise and worship songs until our voices gave out. The Colombian girls loved it! It was so cute to see them stand there soaking up the multipart harmonies and the passion of our worship as we lifted our voices to the Lord. After every song they would say, “Mas, mas” (more, more) It was a day to be remembered forever. We will go back there tomorrow for a big cook out and more fun and games. Thank you for your prayers and support.

In the midst of the battle and heartache, our brothers and sisters with whom our hearts have been woven together in the trips to Colombia were a constant source of encouragement through their many cards, emails, and phone calls. Their unwavering love and understanding was incredible.
Also, God was moving in the heart of our friends Bill and Sandy Byrd to go with us in June. Bill would call me every few days with a question or just wanting to talk about the trip. It was a joy to see their excitement. Bill also blessed Lisa and I with an unexpected but very badly needed blessing when he and Sandy paid our way to go on the upcoming trip. It meant the world to us. Bill is the president of South East Texas Tres Dias and is now on the board of directors of Orphan Hope International and is our treasurer. Another dear friend whom some of our team was working on during this time was Shoby John. He is another brother we originally met through Tres Dias.

Shoby and his daughter Hannah committed during this time to come on the trip. Shoby is now on the board of directors for Orphan Hope International and is our secretary. Even in our pain we could see that God was causing all things to work together for our good and the good of the sweet children of Colombia.

Well, there is no Easter Sunday without a Good Friday. We arrived home on Monday, April 19, 2010 tired but full of joy and hope that our sweet Colombian girls were coming home soon. Our beloved African daughter, Mercy, unbeknownst to us was very fearful of the Colombian girls coming and had been working for weeks behind our back to try and sabotage our adoption of them. When Lisa came home so excited about finally getting to meet and spend time with Heidy and Ginary, it was more than Mercy’s fears and insecurities could take. She could not imagine competing with two more girls for our love even though we tried desperately to assure her that God had made a parents heart to always expand proportionately with the number of children He gives them so that they never have to share the love their parents have for them. She panicked and four days later ran away from home. Child Protective Services and the police became involved and brought her home. Over the next five days she ran away two more times and was eventually placed by CPS in a group home. Court dates and much legal wrangling ensued and we ultimately had to let her go forever. The heart breaking phone call came shortly thereafter from our adoption agency informing us that our adoption of Heidy and Ginary had been cancelled and that due to this incident with Mercy we would not ever be candidates for adoption again. We, of course, were devastated. We had spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours trying to save these two precious girls and Mercy but God is the keeper of the accounts and he knows! We are at His disposal and we receive from His hand good things and bad things with the same joy. The one resounding message that continued to ring through my heart as I received this dreadful news was, “My son, I don’t want you to just help two or three girls, I want you to help them all.” Through the pain and tears I bowed my heart before the Lord and replied, “Yes, Lord. I believe, help my unbelief.” Already, unbeknownst to me, God was beginning to move the hearts of key people to go with us to Colombia in June 2010.

Our last day here was filled with several blessings. First, to the explain the blessing at lunch on this day I need to rewind back to my second trip in September 2009 for a second. It was on this trip that I met and developed a relationship with Antonio, Sandra’s husband. He and I became close partly because of our love for the orphans and mostly because we are the two men who Heidy looks up to as Dad. She owns a big piece of Antonio’s heart as well as mine. God has used this little girl and her sweet spirit and her innocent, tender love to draw both of us into this ministry. Also, after the September trip Antonio was so moved by his time with us and the girls that he became Godfather to a precious girl named Lorena. He also fell in love with my other Goddaughter Ginary and stood with her in my place at her baptism in the fall of 2009. So God was tying more and more heart strings between he and I. As we were standing in the airport to go back to Houston from the September ’09 Padrino trip, Antonio mentioned to me that Sandra and he were thinking about starting a foundation to build a safe house and help the girls who were aging out of the orphanage. I told him that we would support and back anything they wanted to do. Sandra says that the decision to go ahead with Fundacion Tayakai was made in that conversation. Ok, fast forward to April 2010 Padrino trip again. We are all sitting at lunch talking about the newly formed Fundacion Tayakai and how we could help. Significantly, most of the current members of the board of directors and the advisory council for what is now Orphan Hope International were sitting at this lunch. As we talked a plan formed to develop a U.S. ministry to support Fundacion Tayakai (Tayakai is a native Colombian word meaning “me”) and so was born what is now Orphan Hope International. We all had witnessed the hand of God mighty upon each of us in drawing us together on that day, at that table, for those sweet children. It was a truly momentous lunch for all of us. Second, that night we all gathered in one cabin and had our closing devotion for the trip. I shared what I had been studying from the life of Jesus about how He loved and cared for the needy. We were all moved by His example. After my devotion we were each given the opportunity to share a testimony of what God was doing in our hearts on this trip. Each Padrino (Godparent) and each Ahijada (Goddaughter) shared and there was not a dry eye in the place. One of the testimonies that touched me the most was from Lida, David’s Goddaughter. She told us that she had been watching us and learning from us on the last four mission and Padrino trips that she had been on. She had seen us be the hands and feet of Jesus and she had decided that when she was grown that she wanted to give her life to orphan ministry too. Words can’t describe how smitten each of us were with her words. It was beautiful and we determined to press on. We thought that was enough supernatural working of the Holy Spirit for one day but He was not done yet. We were all getting ready to bed down when Alexandra came to the door and said that Heidy and Ginary needed their “parents.” We went to investigate and discovered that they were in a sisterly squabble and needed some parental guidance 🙂 Over the next two hours with Alex’s help we had the most precious, honest, meaningful conversation, first with Ginary alone and then with Heidy and Ginary together. It was Mom and Dad pouring their hearts out to their two daughters and their two daughters pouring their hearts out to them and to each other. It was absolutely precious and God tightened the cords of our hearts even more that night for these girls and all of the children of Colombia.

I was so engrossed with enjoying my time with my wife and Goddaughters on this trip that I didn’t write in my journal every day like I did on other trips but I will recap here. Every day except one we stayed at the club and swam, ate, talked, bowled, and generally had a marvelous time. One day we went to the mall and took the girls shopping. Lisa had a great time helping them pick out all manner of clothing articles from shoes to coats. It was so wonderful being a family. It never ceases to amaze me how universally needed and craved love is. In the next post I will share our last night together on this trip.

When I awoke this morning and realized that my wife and I were staying at a nice country club in beautiful Colombia with our two sweet Goddaughters and that we were going to be here for 5 days just hanging out, eating, swimming, and many other activities, I had to pinch myself twice. God is good. We went to breakfast and I wish I could show you the sweet photos of the girls hugging and holding on to Lisa but alas it is illegal to post on the internet pictures of Colombian orphans. In all of my visits here and all of my time with my Goddaughters I have never been able to sit down with them with a translator and just talk. I speak some Spanish but we have to limit our conversations to easy stuff that I can understand. This morning however I was able to sit down with Heidy and our sweet translator Alexandra and have a real Father/Daughter talk about some personal hurts and struggles that Heidy was going through and I was so blessed to listen to her heart and to share my heart and we cried together. She was just sure that when I knew her a little of her story that I would not want her anymore for a daughter. I was able to assure her that I loved her not for what had or hadn’t happened to her or not or what she had or hadn’t done but because I chose to place my love upon her and to commit myself and everything I have and everything I am to being her Papi. And then I was able to tell her again about her Heavenly Father Who taught me how to love like this and about His extravagant love for us. It was the sweetest time. We spent the rest of the day just hanging out and enjoying being a family. I will never get over hearing their little cute voices calling to Lisa and saying, “Mami, benga” or “Mami, mida” (Mom, come here or Mom, look). It was a treasure of Grace that I could never have imagined in a thousand years. God had to think up such a precious gift and dump it on me. Thank you Lord.

So in February and March of 2010, between the third and fourth trip to Colombia, the Bullen family is in the midst of an all out war. At the same time we are working hard on the mountains of adoption paperwork, I am pastoring, Luke and my girls are leading worship, Lisa and I are counseling dozens of people, I am working 115 miles from home on a new project, I am speaking at two Tres Dias weekends, our family is ministering to these two sweet but troubled girls God has sent us, and my dear brother Chris Dinkler calls me and says, “hey we are planning a Padrino trip to Colombia in April, you and Lisa gotta come.” My heart sinks because I know that there is no way Lisa and I can go. Other than the busy schedule and huge financial struggles that we are going through, Lisa has never been to Colombia or out of the country for that matter and she has emphatically stated on multiple occasions that her entire role in this orphan ministry is to stay home and pray! Well one day a plane ticket shows up in the mail with her name on it. I thought she would be so mad but instead she strutted through the house waiving it in the air telling everyone that she was going to Colombia to see her girls! It was awesome. Now I just had to pray for my way there. We prayed and prayed and just in time the money came in for us to go with some left over to spend on the Goddaughters while we were there. I was so excited that Lisa was going to be able to meet our two sweet girls that she had heard so much about. I had now been in Colombia twice with my daughters Rebekah and Beverly and once with my daughter Brooke and now I was going to get to take my bride. What a blessing! We were delighted that our friends and fellow soldiers Curt and Tonya Currie, David Richardson and his sister, Charlotte, Chris and Julie Dinkler, Luis Escobar and Alexandra Vanegas were also attending. Lisa and I arrived at the airport about 2 hours early and we sat in the terminal and enjoyed a nice lunch. I was giddy like a little child on Christmas morning waiting for the ok to go check under the tree. On a Padrino (Godparent) trip Padrinos are able to take their children out of the orphanage and have them with them for the week. We were going to be staying at the Country Club in Madrid. We met up with our friends and flew to Bogota. After we collected our luggage we walked outside and there were Sandra and all the Goddaughters waiting for us. They jumped into our arms and there were many hugs and kisses. Heidy and Ginary presented Lisa with a beautiful colombian corsage and a sweet letter that they had written for her. Once again I discovered that there were new depths of my heart still to be touched by these wonderful children. The first time I heard Heidy call Lisa, Mami (Mommy), in her sweet little sing song voice and saw the radiant look on her face I felt as if my life and all the struggles were more than worth it. I looked up to heaven in that chilly Colombian night sky and said, “Lord, I can go to heaven now. Hearing Heidy call Lisa, Mami, is reward enough. I don’t need anything more.” I can’t explain how deeply this touched me but once again I knew that I was in the right place, doing the right thing, and that nothing short of death was going to stop me.

If I have learned anything in the last few years it has been that “there is no victory without a fight, there is no sunrise without a night, there is no purchase without a cost, and there is no crown without a cross.” We came home from out third trip in January to all out war at home, which frankly, always excites me because you only get shot at if you are in the heat of the battle. This war had been building for some time. It actually started back when we took in our African daughter, Mercy. So let me rewind a little back to July 2008. Three weeks after Mercy came to live with us my two sons and I were all laid off from work on the same day. I was unexpectedly laid off from a six figure income job that day and was consequently out of work for almost a year and financially we have never recovered. But the three of us getting laid off was not to be the height of the spiritual warfare for that day. We came home, gave the bad news to the girls and mom, and decided to go to dinner and forget our fears and worries. On the way home from dinner an old man who was off his medication tried to run my wife off the road in our little, safe, gated community where we live. She pulled over and the boys and I got out to see what was going on and he accelerated to about 30 miles an hour and just missed me and hit my oldest son Luke sending him smashing head first into the man’s windshield and then he flew over the car and landed on the pavement as the man sped away. My heart sank to my feet as I watched all of this just a few feet from me. But God! Even though the man’s bumper, fender, mirror and windshield were dented and shattered Luke jumped up off the ground with no broken bones and only a small scratch on his head. The first responders who arrived shortly after and saw the damage to the car could not believe that he had even survived much less was unharmed. That day we knew we were in a war. Over the next several months our entire family’s lives were wrapped up in ministering to Mercy. Here was a girl who had been beaten, had horrible scars all over her body from being tortured, was passed around and rejected over and over again, had been on the run from the guerillas in Liberia, had ingested caustic soda and destroyed her esophagus. Had lain in a hospital bed in Africa for two years begging to die and when we met her was 13 years old and only 48 pounds. Now she was healed physically but spiritually and emotionally she was desperately sick. We poured our lives into her and then 11 months later God sends me to Colombia for the first time. Fast forward now to February 2010 and the war we came home to. Within a week of our third trip to Colombia another abused and broken orphan girl was dropped on our doorstep and a legal battle with her abusers ensued. Because the people had formerly been a significant part of the church I was pastoring, the legal and spiritual battle overflowed into my church and split it to pieces. At the same time the abused girl was an emotional, spiritual, and physical wreck and for the first 3 months she was with us my entire family spent nearly every night praying, singing, and reading scripture over her as she fought with her attackers in horrible nightmares all night long. Of course, during the same time my health was severely attacked and our finances continued to take hits from every side. But with every fiery dart God would also send a little miracle to assure us that, like the 3 Hebrew children, He was with us in the fiery furnace and in the end when we could come out our clothes wouldn’t even smell like smoke! We would pray for money to come in for the orphans and then the phone would ring and someone would donate the exact amount that we were praying for. God continued to send us people to help as well. It was a surreal time in the Bullen family. One day in February, in the midst of all of this, I was down to my last $20.00 without taking something to the pawnshop. I put the $20.00 in my gas tank and said, “ok Lord, I’m in your hands.” That afternoon I was offered a job starting the next day. I was so excited and thankful. The next morning I left to go to my new job and was in a car accident half-way there. It was kind of a freak accident where my car just started sliding and I couldn’t stop it. I had to call my brand new boss and tell him and then be towed to the mechanic. As I was sitting at the mechanic waiting to find out how bad the damage was I received a call that my oldest son Luke (the one who was ran over by the car) had had a car accident that morning at the exact same time as me and that his car had slid off the road and spun end for end into a field “barely” missing several trees and power poles and had landed in the only spot that it could have landed without destroying his car. Later that afternoon I learned that my father had had a very similar car accident that same morning at the exact same time as Luke and my accident. All of us were unharmed and only my vehicle had any major damage. Thankfully my Christian boss understood and I am still working for him today. These are only a few of the things that happened between my third and fourth trip to Colombia and all it did for me was solidify that I was in the right place, God was at work, and the devil was really mad about it. All, wonderful things to know. We survived February and March. The sun began to shine again and in April we went back to Bogota for a fourth trip. But that story is for another post. Here are some quotes from Christians whom God used to change the world that really encouraged me during this time.

“A radical willingness to risk, sacrifice, and suffer is the attitude of authentic ministry.” – John Piper

“Affliction is often that thing which prepares an ordinary person for some sort of an extraordinary destiny.” – C.S. Lewis

‎”Pain and suffering have come into your life, but remember pain, sorrow, suffering are but the kiss of Jesus – a sign that you have come so close to Him that He can kiss you.” — Mother Teresa

‎”God had one son on earth without sin but never one without suffering.” – Augustine